Dd is 7 - good playdate with a girl who now won't play with her

[Passtheduchy]

Dd is a quiet 7 year old who has friends at school but not a best friend. I was delighted a couple of weeks ago when she and another girl were really keen to have a play date. This girl came to ours last week and they seemed to get on really well. This week dd has asked to play with the girl at school and she said it wasn't her game when another girl told her it was her game. Dd doesn't seem to have interacted with this girl at all this week. I know they are fickle at this age but I'm just upset for her that someone I thought would be a good friend for her doesn't want to play with her. Her 4 year old sister has a few regular play dates and dd1 is starting to feel left out. Has anyone else had this experience?

Hi O.P. Sorry it took anyone a long time to answer. I think sometimes people don't know what to say.
Trust me at that age they're always falling in and out. Children will be children. I know it's easier said than done and it's upsetting for you but you're best off leaving them to it. You get yourself all stressed out and next minute the children are playing together as if nothing has happened. Children falling out is not worth getting in a flap about.
You says she has friends but not a best friend. Well not everyone does have a best friend.

Thanks very much Ilive. I saw her sitting in a row for choir the other day. She joined another girl in that row. When another girl from her class arrived, after a few minutes this new girl moves from sitting beside dd to sitting between dd and the other girl. Another child from their class arrives, sits beside dd and talks to the other girls while leaning across dd. Normally dd doesn't comment on these sort of things but afterwards she looked upset so I asked her why. She said she didn't really know. I asked if she was happy sitting with those girls and she said no as they leave her out. I know what you're saying is right but it's very hard to look on as she routinely doesn't seem to be included in things and it's hard to see how that can be changed. I'm sure you're right in that not everyone has a best friend, it just feels as though they do.

Usually posters suggest you speak to the teacher about your concerns.

They also suggest DD makes friends outside school.

I'm sure there are some useful books on this bullying type behavior or on how your DD handles it.

The childline website has lots of info.

Thanks very much dozie. Have had a look at the Childline website and there are some useful tips on there.

There is a bullying thread on MN under Education, which might help.

Thanks very much dozie. Will have a look.