How can I help

[IHateStupidXboxGames]

I've made an acquaintance at a baby group I go to, I've seen her every week for about 3 months and we've gone to the park and for coffee a few times with some other mums too. So we know each other quite well and I'm sure we will become good friends over more time. Every week she mentions how her baby who is 10 months old has not slept more than about 4 hours at a time since she was born. Recently she has been saying the baby has been up every half hour all night. She is obviously exhausted.

I want to help but not sure how without overstepping the mark or making her feel like she isn't managing. Anybody have any advice?

Direct her to MN! There's a sleep section, I'm sure she'd get lots of advice there. Or tell her to phone her hv. Sometimes people forget help is out there and need reminding.

Ok this could be me youre talking about and im not sure id appreciate the advice, by 10 months shes probably tried what shes willing to try. Id say just sympathise, buy her a coffee, help her keep busy/ doing things (sitting eating cake counts) and try not to talk about how well your little one sleeps.

Great advice littlealien!

Thanks I don't really want to give her advice as if I was her that would probably annoy me I just want to help on a practical level. I've invited her for coffee this week and she said she'd like to so maybe just some company is a good start!

This has been my sleep experience with dd. If your friend's not into sleep training and wishes to wait for her sleep to develop, I would make her feel good about her choices. So few people support more gentle parenting so its nice not to get bombarded with advice. Say things like her baby is very lucky to have such a patient mum and baby will sleep through eventually, many bf babies wake many times in the night. The half hour wakes are probably teething and will pass.

Could you offer to take her child out with you so she could get some sleep? maybe just to soft play or something. I used to love when someone offered to have ds for a while when he didn't sleep. At 10 months and seeing you every week I would think her child would be happy to go with you for a while. I wouldn't make a big deal of it just next time she says she is shattered ask if she wants to stay home and you could take kids out.