bedtime shennanigans

[rhetorician]

I've two DDs, one 5 going on 6, one 2, almost 3. Bedtime has become more and more protracted, and I think they are overtired before they even get into bed. This is what happens. We have dinner usually between 5.30 and 6, then they play outside, put away chickens, go upstairs (have bath, but not every day). Then they are in their pjs, teeth brushed, stories. Go to bed. But then there is endless mucking about - they need drinks, they need to go to the loo, DD2 wants her duvet cover changing, they want a story. So, tonight, bedtime started at 7 and they are still awake at 8.30. I tend not to give in if at all possible, but DD2 is recently potty trained, and I do let her go to the toilet. Drinks I am reluctant to give them, not least because DD2 has hysterics if she drops even a tiny bit of water on her bed. How can I make the process shorter, so that they are getting to sleep earlier. I'd be happy if they were asleep at 8.

No playing after dinner? Just upstairs for wind down & bed?

Mine are younger, but my nieces are the ages of yours thereabouts and it tends to be dinner, bath, stories, bed. I think my sister might do wind down tv - cbeebies bedtime stories or similar.

I do dinner, bath, storytime&milk, teeth, bed. No ifs or buts.

Is it possible the outside play is geeing them up? I tend to think evening time needs to be low key.

Perhaps set a routine up, tell them beforehand, and stick to it. Tell them it's two stories only, no you're not changing the duvet, no drinks etc - maybe chat about this with them at dinner. I tried every trick in the book to stay up a bit as a child.......

yes, I'm sure you are right! we have just won the war on DD2 getting out of bed since moving her from cot. We do usually only do 2 stories, but they like to be told a story now, so maybe I will l say one story book, and one other. To be fair, they are good about lots of things. I had always figured that a good run up and down before bed would be good for them, but perhaps not

As pp said, after dinner we have no screens and wind down time with jigsaws etc. also, with that age difference I'd be tempted to do different bedtimes, if possible? So, maybe leave the older one downstairs with some quiet playing tv while you put the younger to bed, then half hour later or so the older one goes up? Not sure how it would work logistically - and do let me know if I'm dreaming as I'll have my two sharing in the near future!

I have read of other parents threatening separation by putting one in the parents bedroom (not sure whether this might be seen as a treat though?!) to at least separate them? I'm not looking forward to this stage...

Also, can you move dinner earlier? If you think they're overtired then might be worth trying, as the cortisol rush kids get when overtired can make for crazy bedtimes... We aim for bath/no nappy time to be no later than 6pm and he's asleep by 7pm at the latest generally don't even ask about his 5mo baby sister though

very difficult to move dinner earlier Misty9, although I think it would work better if they could eat at 5 and then have supper/small snack at 6.30/7; but most days I am not home until 5 - and even the speediest of dinners will bring us to at least 5.30. They don't like sleeping separately really, although when we are away and DD1 is going to bed with cousins etc, DD2 goes to sleep very quickly. I shouldn't really complain, they aren't horribly naughty or anything, just a bit wound up and hyper and it takes them ages to go to sleep. I do think they need to go earlier. So maybe we will try eating, some stories/colouring (neither of them much like jigsaws), get ready for bed, more stories, so make the bit between eating and bed much shorter. Thanks - has clarified my thinking...

different routine, same bullshit. So we eat dinner at 6, put chickens away, go up to bed. Read stories, PJs, teeth. Girls get into bed, tell them two stories. leave at 7.30. DD2 out of bed within seconds, both of them asking for more stories, complaining about light being off, saying they are hungry. DD1 is actually fine, still in bed, but not asleep despite being exhausted. In an ideal world I'd just put them in bed, shut the door and leave them to it, but dd2 gets out of bed, comes downstairs, cries if you turn the lights off. So we are in exactly the same position as when we take them up to bed at 7. It is 8o/c and they are messing about.

Sounds like some 'rapid return' is needed, I seem to remember it from some parenting programme. Make it boring, don't engage, just return them to bed until they get the hint.

to be fair, she's only been in a big bed since Friday, and we have had 3 pretty good evenings with her staying in bed. They are asleep now. Hard to do rapid return, non-engaging with running commentary from top bunk

We had a nightmare with ds when he first went into a bed ( took sides off cot bed). Six months of mucking about later and he finally settled down. Stories like yours are what scares me about putting them in together! Does she have bedtime milk? Even if ds eats very little for dinner i know he can fill up on his milk. Maybe supper if you can squeeze it in? We're the same with not being able to just shut the door. It's frustrating isn't it? :(

sometimes we give them milk before bed, sometimes we don't. But better to give them a snack before they go. DD1 was (despite actually being a stubborn bugger more independent child) easy to move to a bed. They have been in together for about 2 years, and mostly its fine - bed is still a novelty, as is being able to get out of it...

I have dd1 6.5 and dd2 3yr2months sharing and I put them to bed separately.

Wish I could do them together but whenever I try it it takes forever and they're both up too late. I think the age gap is such that at this stage they need different bedtimes. Dd2 needs quiet and nothing happening to fall asleep but once she's out that's it.

I take dd2 up about 6.50 (or straight from bath). Dd1 comes too then goes back downstairs to watch a bit of TV. I'm done with dd2 at 7.15/7.30 normally then give it ten minutes or so before taking dd1 up. Do her story in our room then she goes into their bedroom without putting the light on. She doesn't go to sleep straight away, often not til about 9.30/10 (believe it or not much better than it used to be!) but doesn't need input from me.
On a good night I'm back downstairs by 8.
DH isn't normally back til 830 so it's just me doing bedtime.

might try separate bedtimes - sounds like it works well for you perrinelli

Worth a try I reckon-and if they don't like it then bedtime together could be an occasional reward for good separate bedtimes? Mind you, I can't even get my 5 month old to go to bed when she needs to

I surely can't be worse than what we are doing currently...