Finding this motherhood lark really hard and trying atm

[Rhubarb]

Just gave the kids a long and horrible lecture about not wanting to be a mum anymore.

I don't deal very well with kids, the role of mother has never been an easy one for me. To be totally and truly honest I would never have planned children, but now that they are here I try to get on with it and make the best of it. I love them both to bits and I do try to be a good mum to them, but my breaking points seem to come all too often.

Today was one of them. I've been working hard all week. Monday is my night class which starts at 7, so I usually do an early tea and this week we had dd's friend round for tea who turned out to be a very fussy eater! Last night was dh's turn for night class and his 1st day at work, so I timed tea for him coming in and then going straight out to nightclass.

Tonight I had to make loads of phone calls to try and get bloody Pipex to cancel my contract with them which left me feeling annoyed (ongoing battle for 5 weeks now), trying to placate the kids whilst on the phone. Then I try to sit down with dd and read her book for homework, but ds is wriggling all over me and I really wasn't in the mood. Then ds kicks everything off the sofa, including my coat, the money falls out of my pockets and I just lose it. I give them both this lecture about leaving me alone and about me not wanting to watch bloody children's telly or play their games or do anything at all with them, I just wanted them both to go away.

Now dd is upstairs in her room and I know she really didn't do anything wrong, it is ds who really gets on my tits, but at 2.5 he didn't understand my little speech as much as she did. Now I feel guilty.

What can I do to keep my temper in the evenings? How do you get time with one child whilst you have a toddler around? Constructive criticism only please!

Sweetie- don't beat yourself up. We all suck at being parents sometimes and sometimes we just need to feel better generally before we can get into a "good parent" phase. But go and find dd and say

I know you really didn't do anything wrong, it is ds who really gets on my tits, but at 2.5 he didn't understand my little speech as much as you did. I love you so much. I'm sorry.

And give her a massive hug. It will make all the difference in the world to her, I suspect.

I was not as nice as i could have been to my boys over the summer because I was stressed. I am convinced that explaining that I was sorry and knew I was being snappy and that it wasn't their fault made a big difference to how they felt about things.

Oh Rhubarb, you justsound human to me! I get like that too so not sure if I'm best to advice but i suppose building in time out/have dvds at the ready/bung them all outside (fresh air works wonders for mine). All obvious stuff I know, sorry!

rhubarb a wee hug for you
and give them one too without any reason just a smile.
take a few breaths. my ds isnt quite 2 1/2 but i can imagine the scene alright. do u do t/out with him, they are fractious too at that itme.

i suppsoe u plan your meals and stuff, do u write lists about what has to be done in the evening with them both knowing what has to be done - ie telling them beforehand so they dont kick off when its annouced,
hth a timy weeny bit

Thanks guys! Sometimes I feel like the worst parent in the world! I just gave dd a hug and explained that it wasn't her fault.

We do normally have a routine in the evenings, but ds refuses to sleep in the afternoons now so when I pick him up from nursery he's tired and starts playing up. Normally I let them both watch one kiddies tv show and then I sit down with dd to listen to her read. But I don't know what to do with ds whilst I'm doing this, he take the opportunity whilst I'm sat down to climb all over me and take the attention away from dd.

He's asleep on the chair now and I'll have to wake him up or else we'll be in trouble tonight, but he wakes up in a foul mood so I have to deal with that too!

Arrgh! hope he's not too grumpy. Hang in there babe.

I know this might not help at all, and is probably not even a plaussable idea, but is there a chance you could reduce your working hours...I assume you work fulltime, but don't actually know...! It must be really difficult to deal with everything, as of course it's not just work and Kids, tehre are also the chores, etc...!
You sound very stressed...saying that, you sound like me, and I am a SAHM...but I think with me it's the other way round...I am ready to maybe get back into work, lol!
I suppose it's all about getting the balance right
Sending you some ((((Cyberhugs))))

It gets easier as they get older, it gets easier as they get older, it gets easier as they get older. Now repeat and chant in times of stress.