Talk to me about having 2 girls? Or being one of 2 girls?

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We have a toddler DD and I am expecting DD2. We don't intend any more children so (if all goes to plan) we will be a family with 2 girls and no other siblings.

The trouble is, in all the families I know with this set up, the 2 sisters don't get on very well. This sadly includes me and my dsis (we are very different people and always seem to wind each other up somehow). Other set ups in families I know, eg three children of any gender, or 1 boy 1 girl, or 2 boys, seem to get on much better.

Logically I expect this is just coincidence and it just so happens that the families I know with 2 sisters happen to have had quite different personalities come out. But it still worries me.

So, for reassurance, please can you tell me stories of families with just 2 sisters, no other siblings, where the sisters get on brilliantly?

Oh and any tips to help ensure good relations between the sisters...?

Thank you!

I have a sister that's 4 years younger than me. We got on brilliantly as children! We played lots of imaginary games together and had two friends who were brothers of similar ages to us who we played with as a four at least weekly!

I think being allowed to be yourself and have different tastes is important. Also, if the older one gets new clothes then don't just give younger one hand-me-downs when they get to an age where they have a say-so/opinion in how they're dressed (I was older sister and got hand-me-downs from relatives but the way my mum did it was we only took the stuff we liked from the hand me downs, we weren't made to wear things we hated). If you have an age limit on things (eg. no laptop until you join secondary school) stick to it with younger sibling, as older it's very frustrating when the rules go out the window when it comes to younger one! Spend quality time alone with both. Don't assume older one is being rough, always listen to both sides of an arguement and sort out as fairly as possible.

As teens though my sister used to borrow my things without asking - including my clothes and always ended up ripping/breaking them so please please teach respect for other people's things and if this does start happening then deal with it quickly. My favourite coat got taken and torn. It only stopped when I moved out.

OP I have one female sibling and I am the parent of two girls. There is 20m between me and my sister and yes we did fight but we were also very close. She now lives on the other side of the world but we are still in frequent contact. Tbh I think a lot of the adversity was my Mum's divide and rule tactics, always trying to set us against each other. In fact my sister was surprised at how well my girls get on compared to us.

I have two girls with an age difference of 3 years. They fought as siblings but now as teenagers they are very close. The relationship between them is likely to be longer than with us parents, partners, their own children or anyone else.

I would treat them both as individuals, never ever compare! Give to each according to need and never take sides.

Sorry meant to say fought as young siblings under 10...

I was three when my sister was born and I loathed for the next 10 years...

...and we're now very good friends. And my two girls spend half their time at each others' throats and the other half swearing they'd never want to be without a sister.

Two-girl combos rock!

DSIS and me did argue, I think my parents were slightly annoyed I didn't want a little friend. I want peace, quiet and a good (trashy spy thriller) book.

We rub along ok as adults, we snap at each other occasionally, but only because we can let of steam with each other in a way you can't with anyone else.

I have two girls, 16&13 just as different as my DSIS and me, but they rub along much better.

Why? 1) we live in the middle of no where, most of the time their is no one else in our tiny hamlet to play with.
2) zero tolerance of bickering, fighting and point scoring- "separate rooms, now!" Was heard a lot for short periods.
3) luck and an odd twist of fate.

DD1 is dyslexic, DD2 isn't.
By 6 DD2 could read and write better than her 9y sister. (She pretty much could a tear earlier).

DD2 is also much more socially adept and better at making friends.

This has the odd effect of removing a lot of the age gap, and taking away the resentment DD2 certainly has at being the younger.

Being genuinely better at things than your big sister is a great confidence boast.

Doesn't bother DD1, who is a very tolerant sole, who knows (bar writing) she's as clever as DD2 and a properly good singer. (More luck)

4. screens never ever underestimate, compared with our generation, the value of screens (and toys)

When DD1 is being anti social and sticks her nose in a book (barmy addiction for a dyslexic who still reads dreadfully out loud, but DD1 is always reading) or vanishes to paint, DD2 plays SIMs or watches gymnastics on You a Tube.
(When she was younger it was playmobil)

My daughters are 12 months apart. They fight constantly when together but miss each other when they're not together for more than a few days.
I'd recommend encouraging them to do separate activities. Stops cabin fever setting in.

So if I have any advice it's don't let them get the idea that fighting is ever an option and ensure neither is bored if you separate them. My DSIS was, and that caused a lot of the problem.

Also don't forget your DCs live in a very different world.

Screens, provide quick fix separation, but cute girls hair styles and teen fiction review sites and video blogs also contribute to a great deal of teen chattering, giggling and sisterly hair dressing and general sharing a world of their own. As did playing fighting over Wii games when younger.

Lots of food for thought!

Treating them the same, but allowing them to have separate time/interests/clothes seems to be a theme.

Zero tolerance of bickering is an interesting idea. I thought it was just standard that children would bicker.

I think it's accepted a bit too readily that children will fight, I'm not sure they learn as much from it as people think.

Yes my two bickered a bit when small, but by 6&9 it had to be out lawed.

As I say DD1 is dyslexic and not very good at making friends and DD2 is her absolute polar opposite.

Like many bright 6 year olds DD1 had a real way with words (she could score points better than many of the ten year olds who bullied DD1 at school). However, she was only 6. She didn't have the emotional maturity to understand how much her words could hurt or the sense to spot when her incredibly tolerant sister was going to snap.

DD1 was a good head taller had several stones heavier than DD1, it wasn't going to end well.

Also more seriously than being thumped, DD1 has a deep self confidence DD2 lacks. If she choose to she could have found words to upset DD2 very deeply. She never did, she's genuinely, stupidly nice.

Sorry DD2 was 6