how to tackle DS1 hurting baby?

[mamapants]

DS1 is 26mths old and today he has tried to stand on Ds2 head, tried to hit him with a train, tried to headbutt him and managed to bite him on the face while pretending he was going to kiss him.

Don't know what best course of action is. Have been trying to explain it will hurt him and that its not nice. This clearly isn't working as if anything he is getting worse.

Anyone been through this? How did you deal with it?

Yeah. I've tried telling off & time out, it doesn't work, leads to repeat offences. I'm currently trying this www.ahaparenting.com/BlogRetrieve.aspx?PostID=308761&A=SearchResult&SearchID=8302731&ObjectID=308761&ObjectType=55 which made me sigh when my friend suggested it but really seems to work.

I have also noticed DS is normally only violent when tired, hungry, bored, or has been ignored too much. He's nearly 3 btw

How old is your second? I'd say your eldest is old enough to know what he is doing is wrong, so I would be trying to address the underlying cause. Does he get one on one time with you? Rough and tumble can be great for releasing pent up frustration and anger yours too and seems to work well with 3 year old ds when he's showing signs of similar towards his 5 month old sister.

My immediate reaction when ds hits his sister is to shout tell him it's not very nice and we don't hurt people. I physically remove one of them but then as soon as it can be separated from the incident, I would do the above re reassuring him he's loved too. Voicing his emotion can be helpful too, eg I can see that you're angry and it's okay to be angry but it's not okay to hurt etc.

In the immediate term I would probably keep them apart and not leave them alone if I were you. I do realise how hard that can be but it could be seen as a natural consequence for your ds?

It's bloody hard work having two!

Someone beat me to it - that site is where much of what I said originates from. She's got some good stuff on sibling issues too :)

I had this and it made those early days so difficult In the end, we set up a travel cot in the lounge to put DS2 in so that DS1 couldn't get to him (when DS2 was in his moses basket, DS1 had a habit of biting his fingers!) He just put DS2 out of reach when I needed it.

It is just a phase but can totally remember those feelings of guilt, sadness and stress that it caused (I don't look back at DS2's early days with fondness )

Over 5 years later, things haven't changed much except they hurt each other now rather than it being one-sided...I generally leave them to get on with now

My son gave my daughter a nasty scratch on the face. 26 months between mine and I think we was 4/5 months in. He got a bloody good bollocking I remember feeling really cross. I even phoned his dad at work and told him infront of ds. It really made an impact he's never done it since. It wouldn't suit every parent but I was furious .

Will read that link now Chocolate. Have followed advice off AHA before and liked the approach.
Boredom definitely makes my DS worse too. Am dreading the winter!

Yeah I'm dreading the winter too. Let me know if you find anything else that really works! I try to head off boredom when my hands aren't free by making up lots of stories, that works well for example when I'm feeding the baby, but sometimes I'm just too tired and stressed and that's when it all goes wrong for us