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Original poster

How old for sleep overs?

34 replies

hulababy · 27/09/2006 08:40

Just wondering how old your children starting having or going to sleep overs at their friend's house?

DD is 4y5m and started reception this month. She has made some close friends quickly and is having a couple of play dates each week, all lovely. We have met the parents of a few of the girls at a social event at school, plus a couple of other ccasions.

Well, DD is invited to tea after school at her friend's house (along with another girl who they play with). But friend's parents have suggested a sleep over.

They live about a 3-4 minute walk from us, just off the estate round the corner.

They know that DD is not 100% dry at night and said it is fine.

DD says she wants to go. DH thinks we should think about letting her give it ago, as the dad has said any problems then he'll bring her home as so close.

But I am nervous. She's only ever stayed at one of our parents without us before, and only started doing that last year. I have no idea if she'd settle, if she'd sleep, etc.

Am I worrying for nothing? Will she okay?

What age do childre n normally start sleep overs? I wasn't expecting it so soon!

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Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 08:42

I don't know yet if the other girl is staying over, but she is to be invited to I think. Althouh she lives a good 15 minute drivce away or so.

OP posts:

NotQuiteCockney · 27/09/2006 08:44

If your DD wants to do it, I would let her. My DS1 is (just) 5, and we've been talking about doing sleepovers for a while, but haven't quite arranged it. You want it to be someone really nearby, in case you get called in the night. Does your DD normally wake at night?

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 08:45

hula think your dd will be great

also they will probably be too excited to go to sleep and chatter away all night until they drop iykwim

dds were around 6 ish if i remember right

ds was about 4

she will have a great time
xxx

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Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 08:45

She does wake int he night - either to go to the toilet or if she has had an accident. I could go and get some of the bed pants to help with that I guess.

DD really wants to go at the moment, although might change her mind.

If she did I would change arrangements slightly, pick he upmyself from school, bring her home, get her changed, sort her overnight bag and then take her msyelf - as I say it is close.

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Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 08:46

I need to let go a bit dont I?! LOL, my baby is growing up

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desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 08:49

hula in a blink of an eye

she will be getting ready to go clubbing

enjoy and savour it
xxx

Bozza · 27/09/2006 08:51

Yes you are at that tough time of letting go. My DS has been having sleepovers since he was 3. But they were literally across the road - ie I could stand at his bedroom window and look directly at the bedroom window he was sleeping in. They have moved now to about the distance you describe and he still goes.

I would not allow a sleepover on a school night though because IME there is a little giddiness and she may not sleep as well as at home and so may be tired the next day and need a quiet day. I know you say your DD sleeps in if she has a late night but the playmate may have different ideas!

Definitely think about the toileting aspect too. Just to make sure your DD is comfortable.

Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 08:51

Just seen your own thread...yes, need to savour her little girl phase now

OP posts:

Bozza · 27/09/2006 08:52

What about it being a Friday night?

Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 08:54

The toilet thing isn't too much of a problem as the little girl has an en suite in her own room And even if she has an accident DD will change her own PJs and bed mat, although tempted to get some disposable bed pants if she'd use them.

We have nothing onthe next day until 3 int he afternoon - a party. So she could come home and nap more.

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Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 08:54

It is a Friday night that has been suggested - next week.

OP posts:

Bozza · 27/09/2006 08:59

Oh well in that case that sounds fine. You will wonder what to do with yourself though!

Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 09:11

LOL, you're right. It'll be strange!

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Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 09:14

Does it bother you not knowing the parents that well?

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Twiglett · 27/09/2006 09:15

I have done a sleep over because parents needed a break but I am not getting into these as 'playdates' until they're much much older .. say 10

desperateSCOUSEwife · 27/09/2006 09:19

hula they will probably be thinking the same as you
dont worry everything will be fine

Bozza · 27/09/2006 09:22

Well TBH I do know the parents that DS goes to quite well, especially the mother. He has only ever been on a sleepover at one friends and DD's godparents who have a DS the same age (was more anxious then because it is miles away). How do you feel? You are obviously happy for DD to go on a playdate there.

Original poster

hulababy · 27/09/2006 09:27

Yes, more than happy for a play date

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bubbly1973 · 27/09/2006 10:46

i guess it depends how long you have known BOTH parents (assuming she isnt single) i personally think its too young but thats my own opinion

BudaBabe · 27/09/2006 10:49

My DS is 5 and I know he is just not ready yet. Comes into our bed most nights.

The fact that they are so close would allay my fears somewhat. At least you know she could come home easily if necessary.

My DS was desperate last year for his friend to come here for a sleep-over and had it all planned. Friend would come with his Mummy and boys would sleep together and friend's Mummy could sleep with me and DH!!!

Polgara2 · 27/09/2006 11:50

Have to agree with bubbly, I personally think it's too young unless its with family or very close friends sort of thing. My dd had her first sleep over at just 8 and that was early enough. If I didn't know the parents very well I wouldn't even consider the idea either I'm afraid. I know lots of you disagree but we're all different.

Hermit · 27/09/2006 11:52

Sorry to go against the flow, but imho this is too young. Ds has just done his first sleepover at 9 - he hasn't wanted to until now, but felt ready this time. DD - 6 - has been invited to one, we said no - there was a big fuss - then on the ight when she would have been away, she said thank you for saying no - she was glad to be at home! Can't really see the point of sleepovers myself. Both do Camps with Cubs,etc though - there's a purpose there.

iota · 27/09/2006 11:53

my ds1 is 7 and refuses to do sleepovers.

His best friend has stayed with us, however

rebeka27 · 27/09/2006 12:16

I'm with Hermit! My dd went to first sleepover at 8, and she was fine but she did really miss me! . It's hard to say no if she really wants to go. We have let our ds (6) stay at a friends, then I came and picked him up, fast asleep, at 10.30 and popped him back in his bed. I warned him first, obviously! This worked really well, they have the fun of getting in jim-jams etc, but if they wake in the small hours you are there.

annie78 · 27/09/2006 12:36

DD is having sleepover party for 8th birthday, its the craze in her class, pleased as its a very cheap party option but unsure how to keep 6 overexcited girls entertained, any suggestions would be gratefully recieved. . . . . . She started sleepovers at 5 and so far so good.

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