The differences between boys and girls....

[Givemecaffeine21]

I've got one of each aged 26 months and 15 months and am finding out all sorts of things about how diffrrent the sexes really are. I'd be interested to hear other people's views but so far I've found:

1.My son cries, has cried, and continues to cry a lot more than my daughter. He is a full on Drama King and my friends sons are the same they tell me. He can trip and land gently on his padded bottom and you'd think the world was ending. And the whining.....oh the whining.....

1. My son is more affectionate than my daughter and loves cuddles. He wants to me on me, with me, all the time. When it isn't irritating (trying to cook dinner etc), it's downright adorable and I love our snuggles.

1. My daughter is much more easily distracted and more compliant in general - no to her means no, and always has. No to DS means 'mmm hmm, just once more then' / 'can't hear you'.

1. DD is a heavy sleeper, DS is a light sleeper.

1. They play very differently. DS has surprised us with his thoughtful play approach. Everything is carefully examined to find it's purpose and he likes to create rather than bash, whack and throw ....which can often be DD's approach even though she's the older child, and a girl.

What have you found?

Caffiene.

From the days of having a really tiny baby, I was constantly stopped by complete strangers. Oh isn't he lovely, he's such a boy, so physical, you really have your hands full there, but you'll be grateful when he's a teenager, so much easier than girls...

Their faces when I completely blew their stereotype apart by saying "oh yes, she is a handful, but I wouldn't have it any other way"

I've had children as young as 3 and 4 ask me why my little boy is wearing a dress. Because she doesn't have long hair, therefore she can't be a girl, right? She's 11 now, and in jeans and a jumper it's still assumed she's a boy.

Sex stereotype is so ingrained in our society it's everywhere. And IMO is getting worse. I saw on fb a comment about a child being in the "terrible twos"- straight away loads of comments about it being due to her sex. I've seen boys allowed to run about in restaurants while the girls were made to sit nicely.

People seem to like "blaming" everything on something.

I have x2 boys.

Both sleep well, neither hits, neither bothered if fall over etc

Ds2 is easier to distract than ds1

Otherwise both fairly similar. Similar the same as my niece who also does the above

The only difference I see is when their parents constantly say pink is for girls, boys like blue. And buy all 'girly' things for one and 'boyish' for the other. Every other family who has mixed sexes who just buys clothes/ toys/ stuff in range of colours and styles for both to share or pass on to youngest it doesn't happen.

If I did all pink for a girl / blue for a boy I'd be bankrupt! We try to pick reds / yellows for things like bikes and scooters so that DS can use them too at a later date. DD's room is jungle themed - tastefully neutral but could be for either sex as they shared at one stage. She is angling for Peppa Pig though and as it's only removable stickers I think the budget will stretch

My sister has two girls though and it is all pink - they've both said from a young age it's their favourite colour so why not (shrugs)

Utter rubbish.

Dc1 is very creative/shy/moans loads/doesn't like rough and tumble/very petite and small boned/fussy eater

Dc2 is loud/boisterous/sturdy/bashes and breaks everything in sight/scoffs everything in sight/extremely sociable with anyone including strangers

Both are girls

My (2 yr old) dd likes to put on dresses and skip round the house, play hairdressers, put her teddies down for a nap after having a tea party with them, sing to her teddies, put clips in her hair, put her dolly to sleep after feeding her a bottle etc.
Do many little boys play like that? No doubt some will, but many compared to girls?

But do many little boys get given dresses and dollies and hair clips to play with? My DS doesn't. He does have a tea set. It's pink, as are the majority of tea sets (because boys don't like tea ) and he loves making tea for his teddies. He's also a very physical little boy and loves football.

I know from experience that most toddler boys will happily play with dolls and home corner at nursery but many don't have access to those toys at home and parents (especially dads) are often uncomfortable with their boys playing with 'girls toys'. When they get older most children tend to conform to gender stereotypes and that is because they have learned how girls and boys are supposed to behave. Very few people parent gender neutrally, including me, because gender roles are so deeply engrained.

Dc3 has 2 older sisters

I must admit i noticed s glaring difference between them from about a year onward

He would use anything to push around the floor... Phone, remote controls

I used to wonder what he was doing. Sussed that it was a very early form of playing with vehicles , which he subsequently loved. (And still loves) playing with

The dds just didn't do this! And by the time ds came along there was an abundance of girly stuff everywhere, and not much in the way of tractors, racing cars and diggers

Other than that all personality

Read Pink Brain, Blue Brain. The human brain is plastic and becomes genderised because children adapt to the society in which they live.

The biggest influence on what a child will play with is the gender of their older sibling. So DS, with 2 big sisters, plays with dolls and walks around all day with alice bands in hair (at home and at nursery). He had major tantrums if one of the girls wears a hairband he wants to wear. The DDs on the other hand never play with their dolls house unless they are using the furniture to e.g. construct a bus. DD2 loves lego and marble runs and science sets and maths.

Other people regularly ask if I see gender differences and get quite put out when I say I can't.

I agree people are obsessed with seeing gender differences, that doesn't mean they are right. So many people assume my dd is a boy because she's generally to be found climbing the furniture. They then say things like 'typical boy! He's a handful! But they're so much less complicated than girls aren't they?' Or variations on those themes. It drives me nuts.

notnowbernard why do you assume your ds's love of vehicles is down to his sex and not personal preference? My niece loves toy cars and trains too.

'Delusions of Gender' by Cordelia Fine is a brilliant book which explores all of this.

My ds is obviously just very mixed up. He's nearly 4.

He's loud, boisterous, occasionally aggressive and loves pretending to fight (i hate it) and is very rough and tumble. He can be emotionally explosive.

He sleeps like a log. When he was a baby he barely cried. He loves cuddles and wants kisses from either gender, from those he's closest to. He has a penchant for pink, handbags, makeup and Frozen. He plays with hoovers and cooking equipment, trampolines and running and banging into things. He has little interest in creative activities but loves things that move and that he can take apart. He is kind, funny, sociable and sometimes outright brazen.

He is gloriously unique in every way and it disappoints me to think that he may one day feel like he ought to 'conform' to any kind of stereotype. Dsis and bil adopted two boys 6 months ago and bil is all "that's for girls, this is for boys". I hate it. I feel sure that gender 'roles' are helped along more than a little by a genderised society.

I think there are generalised differences between a whole group of boys and a whole group of girls, but when you are just looking at 2 dc, then it's down to their personalities rather then their sex, IMO.

I have a boy and then 2 girls, and my 2nd girl is so like ds rather than like her sister. Had I stopped at two, I'd put a lot more down to their gender rather than their personality, but with my 3, it's clear it's about who they are as individuals, not whether they are boys or girls.

Each of the points you attribute to your DS could be used to describe my DD. Except point 5. DD has a thoughtful approach to play - she likes to examine things carefully... and then smash them.