7DD is seriously driving me insane!!

[Bizzeliz]

I'm sat upstairs crying writing this, had to walk away before I totally blew up. DH has taken other DS out and I'm left with DD who has once again missed out on a treat day.

Over the last few months, she has become really wilful and it doesn't matter how many times I tell her to do something calmly, or nag, shout she doesn't listen and ends up repeating the same naughty behaviour I've scolded her about. It's like she doesn't care...I know she is only 7 but her little brother isn't like this. I treat them both equally, he is more well behaved and caring than she is. She hits him and is so rude to DH.

I've tried ignoring bad behaviour, rewarding good giving praise but with each nice moment there are 100s of bad moments.

I want our weekends to be joyful and fun and at the moment she is causing me stress, sick of hearing me telling her off and punishing her.

My emotions need to get in check.. I just want my cute funny DD to behave and be happy not be ignorant, rude and disrespectful.

Has anything changed over the last few months in her life? home, school, friends or extended family?

Have you actually sat down and had a 1-1 talk to her and really listened to what she has to say? Could you and DD go out and have a cup of tea / cake in a neutral space?

That's the thing, not that I can think of...we have special time together as I take her to activities. When I sit down with her she is upset and we cuddle but then shortly after the bad behaviour kicks in.

It's the not listening and being exceptionally rude to her daddy that is upsetting. He feels she has no respect for him. She is doing well at school and popular, no underlying problems with us as a couple apart from usual squabbles.

We started the not taking her out and withdrawing toys which is distressing ( it is now currently hence my tears) and doesn't work. Not sure what other techniques I can use to help her behaviour.

Can anyone help?

I've just put in another post about the "How to talk so your kids will listen..." book. DD1 is 7 and I'm finding it really helpful to have a new way of looking at things even if I don't always manage to follow the advice