Tell me about 3 year age gaps?

[notmuchofaclue]

DD1 is two and we're expecting no. 2, they'll be about 3 years apart. I wondered if anyone could tell me what experiences they have of this age gap? Will DD1 deal with it better because she's older? Or get frustrated because it will be a long time before her sibling will be able to play with her?
Interested to know what your experiences are, not that I can do anything to change the age gap now of course!

sleepysheep you deserve a medal! Crikey. It's only just dawned on me that I'll be extending out the nappies and tantrums for a few more years, I'm not sure I could cope 3 times!

3yrs8months (unintentional) between mine . It was great-the elder was never jealous and was a big help (I was 40 , had had a dificult pregnancy and got v .v tired)She still remembers going to buy a pink teddy for the baby on the way to hospital to meet her -they kept you in longer then ! The gap widened a little from when the elder was a teenager but has narrowed as they got older .In their twenties now and very close .Elder still v protective and proud of her baby sister .I had a proper big pram with a little seat which was great for the last bit of the walk home from nursery . Agree very important to focus on the things the elder can do because they are bigger and to make sure they get one on one with mum and dad .

I have 3 years 2 weeks between my two DDs and it works brilliantly for us.

Before DD2 was born, DD1 was very insecure and had to have lots of reassurance leading up to the birth. My mum used to tell her that she didn't like babies and things like that. She just needed to hear that she was nothing to be usurped!

They're now almost 11 and almost 8, and they get on brilliantly. They always have. I find that by having the age gap, they don't tend to compare themselves much, and do not have sibling rivalry. Dd1 regularly helps DD2 with hobbies etc and DD2 willingly accepts because she looks up to her big sister.

They play together, and are great friends. I think 3 years have all the advantages of a close age gap without the disadvantages.

3 years age gap (almost to the day) is perfect for dd and ds. They could not be closer as siblings and a big reason for my saying 2 is easier than one.

I have a 3 y 9 m gap and a 2 y 8 m gap. No real problems with jealousy,although both of the younger ones often want to sit on me at the same time. Both older ones were potty trained when the younger came along.

Buggy board for the first two then I got a cheap double when number 3 came as I had the school run to deal with and it was winter. We didn't use it for long but I was grAteful for it. Weswitched to buggy board after a few months and then walking shortly after. I didn't make the buggy decision until near the birth as they change so much.

They are now 8, 4 and 19 m and are generally lovely together in any combination. I would do a 3 y gap again but no more babies here!

2.9 year gap here. Dd1 potty trained the week I brought dd2 home from hospital - which was sort of a good thing - because 'nappies are for babies'. She was at nursery most mornings, but still napping, and actually having her routine helped me to make a sort of pattern for dd2. So feed before breakfast, dd2 in sling, make breakfast, walk to nursery, come back, feed, bit of napping / chores, feed, in sling for nursery pick up and then dd1's lunch, dd1 nap/ feed dd2 etc. If you can get someone around to help for the awful bit when they're both tired and the baby wants to cluster feed (4.00-7.00ish) then do - for me that was the worst bit.

I got a double buggy because we rarely use the car and walk a lot - but actually it would have been possible to manage with dd2 in the buggy but a sling handy in case dd1 couldn't / wouldn't walk any more, and put dd2 in the sling and dd1 in the buggy. I didn't want dd1 to feel she was being chucked out of her buggy / cot / high chair, so we phased all of those out a few months before dd2 needed them, made a fuss about a new big girl bed / chair and then reintroduced them (from the loft) as 'what you used when you were a baby, now it's dd2's turn'.

This thread is great! DC2 is due in November and the gap will be 2 years 10 months so this is all very reassuring. I loved the tip about telling DC2 to wait a minute when he/she is just starting to stir. I'll use that (if I remember in the sleep-deprived fug.....).

This is very reassuring! DS is due in yhree weeks and DD will be 2.10. Weve spoken lots about how great a big sister she will be and what will happen when Mum goes to hospital etc. Am hoping she will take to the fetching and carrying etc. They do sleep.tonns in the first few weeks so hopefully thatll leave lots of tjme for paintjng and colouring etc.

Excellent idea from a pp about telling the baby to wait a minute too - will definetly be doing that.

I have two girls with a 3y 2w age gap. My eldest didn't show any signs of jealousy, but she pretty much ignored her baby sister for the first year. As soon as dd2 was walking dd1 realised she had a playmate. They are teens now and mostly get on well, go out together (shopping, cinema etc.). I did involve dd1 in the pregnancy, took her to antenatal appointments.

I bought a buggy board, but dd1 got on it for 5 steps, then decided she wanted to walk. It was helpful that dd1 was potty trained, could dress and feed herself.

I think that 3 years is quite a common age gap, judging by other children I know.

I have 3y 3m between my DDs. We didn't have much jealousy initially although a little insecurity - we did move house & city at 36w though so it was all quite a lot for DD1. She was very sweet & helpful with DD2. Now they are 3 and 6 and while overall they get on we are in the worst patch of sibling rivalry we have had. Constant competition, for any thing the other one has & for me. It's hard work! But I had an awful rivalry with my brother 2y 3m younger so I think it is just one of those things. Am trying for DC3 & it will be at least at 3y 9m gap now... I would have preferred it closer but what will be will be!

2.6 and 3.3yrs here.
The bigger gap was easier it even the 2.6 meant she was at nursery potty trained and fairly independent

Best of all 3 school yrs in each gap. That's been perfect torso many reasons. They are now 21/18/16 and we've never had big exams clashing etc

3.6 gap here. I really bigged up how poor dc2 couldn't do anything and dc1 could go on swings/eat icecream/do painting, acknowledged that babies were a bit boring and annoying, but they do like their feet being tickled (baby probably didn't care but it meant toddlers could 'play' with the baby and be unlikely to hurt it). And said "i think dc2 likes you" at any hint of a smile etc, plus telling dc2 to wait a minute, lots of feeding dc2 while reading to dc1.

3 school year gap means longer with having to deal with nursery and school run timings, but meant the 15 free hours kicked in when dc2 was born so dc1 still went to nursery for 3 days, just less long. Dc1 was also old enough to play without me at soft play or children's centre while I dozed with dc2.

Now 6 and 2.6, they get on pretty well, often very well with general understanding that they don't always want to do the samething. Does help that dd can't turn door handles yet to get into her brother's room...

I have a 2yr8month age gap and it works well. Dd is older enough to help ds with stuff and be a bit protective, but near enough in age that they like the same games, toys, films etc. It helps that dd is not a very 'girly' girl!

My ds is about 11mo. I am planning to have my second child when ds1 is about 3.5 yo. reason being I will go on an year long maternity leave and get to spend 6 months with ds1 n dc2 after which ds1 will start school so i will be there for the first six months of ds1 being in school. I will get time for dc2 while ds1 is in school and take care of ds1 after school..