Lonely, bored, can't snap out of it

[katiekatie]

Someone here might understand?
My children are 7 & 9. I gave up my job when youngest arrived to be a sahm but I did cleaning jobs/made cakes/dog walking/Avon etc just to make a bit of £ while still being at home.
When the youngest started school I gave up these little jobs & started applying with gusto for anything part time that fitted in school hours or broadly...and I must have applied for hundreds of things in those 3 years but still nothing.
I'm in a massive rut, everyone I knew through school has moved on, I have nothing to do all day, I'm ashamed & lie about working & I don't have the confidence to do anything about it... Or just do anything!
Between 9 -3pm I cuddle my dog, sweep, look for jobs... That's it. I hate myself why am I so crap.
After school I whirr into action taking the kids here and there - I volunteer at their clubs with admin or helping out for eg with cubs. I fear for the future when this stuffs gone.
Help!! Anyone been through this? Xx

I don't really know what to say.
Do you have the funds to study train for a job/go to university?
You could try volunteering - not just with the children's things but something else entirely?
How about applying for something full-time and sorting out childcare - full-time jobs might be easier to come by?
Have someone look at your cv/application and help you rewrite it so that you're more likely to get to interview?
Have you considered, if you're able, doing shift work or working nights/evenings/weekends? That might open up more possibilities.

Sorry if you've already thought of these. Hope you get something soon.

Thanks for replying, sounds so pathetic i can see that. this is gong to sound like excuses as well but...
I do volunteer occasional evenings for dementia care - i guess i've been keeping the days free in case a job comes along.
I cant commit to evenings because dh works long hours though i could and have done early mornings (cleaning) i don't want to do cleaning anymore!!
I took the decision to be a sahm basically because my parents weren't, and i was massively jealous going round friends houses where their mum or dad was there cooking tea, joking around watching films together i remember their houses like the kitchen scenes in 'outnumbered'! but yeah, i didnt consider years at home would shrivel my brain and lose all my confidence. Volunteering is easy because you're needed...i am terrified of someone paying me to do a job that i'm then crap at
You are right about my CV
Thank you again for replying x

Do you have a partner?
Could you work in the evenings such as in a bar to get a bit of social life and get paid for it?

I used to go walking during the day when I did not have a job - I'd walk for miles and miles and then have a mars bar and walk back. While I was walking, I'd give myself £126,000,000 to spend and just enjoy the outside and my own company - and singing. I sing quite a lot when I'm walking. I also invested in a good coat and waterproof boots and trousers so I'd have no excuse. Something about it made me feel empowered.

I really miss my days walking now I work FT

Sorry x-posts

You don't sound pathetic - more like you're lacking in self-confidence/self-worth and that you need to do something to increase that.
Definitely get some help with your cv - just because you haven't been in paid work doesn't mean you don't have the skills required to do it (think about time management, budgeting, organisation, leadership, communication skills etc that you use all the time when dealing with the children); and think about retraining or gaining qualifications that would allow you to do something you'd actually enjoy. If you were to do something like that, then a part-time cleaning job (for example) would merely be a means to an end.

Have you tried temping or volunteering for something that might lead to a paid job? A CV fired off after such a long career break is likely to result in the soul-destroying results that you've been experiencing. Why would an employer take a risk on someone who hasn't worked when there are so many people out there looking for work with more recent experience?

Getting back into paid work is also about who you know (i.e. networking among your family, friends, neighbours, old colleagues, parents at the school gate). Once you can demonstrate that those seven years don't matter and that you're perfectly capable of work then they will cease to be so important. You'll also have something to put on your CV and a recent boss to give you a reference.

You sound so down on yourself, but you really don't need to be. It sounds like you have filled your time pretty well since being a SAHM.

You say you help out at your DCs clubs - this needs to go on your CV. So does the volunteering for Dementia Care. The other stuff will also come in handy. It sounds to me like you really need someone to look over your CV and give you a few pointers.

I know a bit about this sort of thing and would be happy to look over your cv, do a bit of email interviewing to see if there are things you're missing. PM me if you'd like some help. No charge in case you're wondering! I just think you sound so miserable, when maybe you don't need to.

Thank you very much confusedandemployed. I do get what you're all saying, it's a state of mind I need to sort. Walking is a good idea just getting out of the house and free too. What did you sing?? That sounds liberating! I'd thought of using this time to get fit but made excuses about no £ etc
I will do that confusedandemployed x