Neverending to-do list - stressed! How do you manage?!

[ireallyshouldgeton]

Typing as I walk to Post Office to send the last of DC's bday thank you notes...
Do you also feel like you have a neverending to-do list and things add to it quicker than you can cross them off?? Have posted here, rather than in good housekeeping as not all my to-do list is home-related and because there's so much more to do and so little time to do it in when you're a parent, specifically a mum! And I have a good husband, I only work part-time and I only have one child, a toddler!

I manage to keep on top of the day-to-day stuff just about: cook mostly from scratch but not especially fancy, do a load each day in both dishwasher and washing machine, sweep/mop/vacuum/dust/clean bathroom weekly (no shoes indoors so less dirt!). Lawns mowed fortnightly. Do online grocery shopping. I have to fit in physio and chiropractor appts. every couple of weeks (fitting around toddler and work!) as I have back problems. But it's the less frequent, more random stuff that throws me off or I don't get round to until later than I should, if ever....!

Keeping up with birthdays especially for those I don't regularly see or who live far away is tricky and I feel bad missing them.

Also, hosting visitors stresses and tires me out. We have visitors a lot as one side of the family lives at a distance. PIL visit for a couple of nights / days every 4-6 weeks and as we have no dedicated spare room ( I wfh so our spare room is also my office and is a v small double in size) this means setting up the sofa bed and rearranging stuff from the spare room elsewhere to make space and vice versa when they leave again. And there are friends - different ones - who we host for a weekend about once a quarter, same spare room issues!

And there's fitting in seeing all the friends I want to on my days with DS - playdates usually - and relatives who live 20 miles away and who we try to see (and want to see) weekly / monthly respectively.

My 'additional' to-do list for the next few weeks includes:

• car insurance and road tax renewals incl shopping around for quotes
• 2 work trips away overnight and associated packing and organising
• 1 weekend away incl toddler for a wedding
• hosting 2 x visits by relatives, each for a couple of nights
• 2 x physio / chiropractor appts for me
• meter readings to submit
• new mobile phone contract to research and sort
• take DS for new shoes in town
• 1 weekend away in London with DH and DS linked to DH's work
• quotes to get for garden work and get actual job done
• various toddler bday parties to attend and buy gifts for

I know I'm just describing life really but I often find it overwhelming. Is this normal? How can I get it all done without worrying and stressing?!

To elaborate, I'm less than happy with my wardrobe which makes having to put together outfits for weddings, work things and other social occasions is more stressful than it should be. I want to fully sort my wardrobe, selling and donating unwanted things but this takes loads of time I find. I don't make much headway even when I have a rare afternoon free if DS spends the time with grandparents. And I then need to buy new clothes, which involves more time again.

We've also got loads of little DIY odds and sods to do around the house...! Stuff like putting up pictures, hooks, painting the odd bit of furniture we're upcycling.

I've also a ton of gift vouchers and loyalty card points I want to use and be done with. And a ton of photos to back up, organise and print.

I just feel rubbish!! I know people with 2 under 3 who seem to be coping better than me, managing to live in kitchen renovations, extensions, while both parents work full-time and run half-marathons and have no family help nearby!!!

The people you know are lying. They are as stressed as you are they're just better at hiding it. I have almost the exact same list as you, only I've gone and added 'keep DC2 alive' to it. Really fed up at the moment as we've just started weaning and I'm remembering how much extra bloody work it is.

I'm just like you! I'm hoping it will ease once the youngest kid startd preschool x

I agree it's neverending! I have endless tasks to do on a daily basis - I put reminders in my phone. We've just come up with a new rule for birthdays in our family - we only buy for the children. Otherwise it's endless! DH puts DD to bed most days so that is the time I use to blitz housework and chores a then make a start on dinner!

Poor you i'm shattered just reading all your things to do. Could you try to cut out some things? For your trips away pack one bag wash and put back in. Get a cleaner once a week. Wednesday night is pizza night in our house and sat I make frozen food that can be stuck in the oven. Say no to birthday parties for toddler if you don't have time. Next time PIL visit tell them you need to go shopping and can they keep DS while you run to town, pre shop online so you know what shops you want to visit. Gifts for kids partys can come from 2 for £15 from argos delivered. Lastly when you go to see your friends be totally honest when they say how are you tell them your stressed out your box and have a million things to do that you haven't done I will put money on it they will come clean if you do.

Be kind to yourself and accept that your not super woman some things you won't get done and that's ok. The have it all do it all thing we have going on is really damaging it's ok to just be average and do ok you don't need to be a stepford wife to be a good wife/mum/woman.

Looks like my life and I've had enough of it too, not very helpful I know.

Yep I feel your pain. I have to work 3 jobs, fit all the housework in, do all the normal crap with the kids (swimming etc), fit in 10 mins of OT exercises every 2 hours for my son (dyspraxia), try and do some exercise myself (I am overweight), cook from scratch as much as I can so we eat better (I am not a natural cook and I hate the mess) plus all the normal general chores and looking after the finances. Oh and at the weekends decorate as we bought a fixer-uper (more fool us).

I struggle a lot to fit it all in and to remember even with my to do list (I need to look at it every bloody half an hour to remember it all and I can't do that really - it is on my computer and I don't like all the apps on the phone).

My kids are 10 and 7 and it seems to have got worse as they have gotten older (sorry!)

I was thinking to myself earlier this isn't living this is a military operation :(

I don't feel like I can let anything slip though. Maybe I am too much of a perfectionist...

Feeling very similar, I am still on maternity leave and DS is 6 months but barely naps and wakes every 40 mins in evenings and my DH works away about 50% of the time. so a good day is when I've emptied the dishwasher and put on a load of washing, and hung it out!!

I desperately need to sort loads of clothes and stuff to sell on Facebook/eBay as we need the money but that just seems impossible right now... And I have a similar list of things to you to achieve somehow.

Urgh! It's got to get easier eventually right?