Baby (5.5 months) screams without me

[Netguru]

Breastfed. Just started weaning on HV advice. DC4 but huge gap of 13 years.

My problem is she screams when not with me. Not for a minute or two but constantly until I return. If o have a bath she screams until I get out despite feeding her prior and my husband playing with her.

Last night we went out for a long arranged dinner my mother, who she sees every day day for us. After 90 minutes of flat out non distractable screaming she gave up and phoned us to come home. I walked through the door and heard her in full roar, picked her up and she stopped immediately.

What on earth do I do?????

Sympathies, it is so hard. My dd was like this - I had to go out for about 3 hours a few times when she was a baby and she would scream til she was sick and until I came back. As a small toddler she'd be throwing herself against the front door after me, screaming til I got back. We never found much to help - although when she was older, it worked better if we all went out somewhere interesting and I left her with dp then, rather than me walking out of the house) - she was like this just left with dp, we didn't even try anyone else! She also screamed every time I put her down til she could crawl, and then screamed whilst clinging onto my legs whilst I cooked dinner etc until she was about 16 months... All this improved greatly after 18 months. Not sure that's what you want to hear! However, she's a happy and affectionate 3 year old now and we have a wonderful bond. She's just started preschool and loves it, and I can leave her happily with dp anytime. But I still shudder remembering the first 18 months...!

Perhaps she's not ready to be weaning?

Place marking as DD (almost 5 months) has started doing this with me, more in the evening than in the day & I can't go anywhere

Next time leave a T-shirt that smells of you. Your mum can wrap her in it.

My DS is the same. He's such a happy chilled out thing when I'm with him but almost as soon as I'm not he gets upset. He's 5.5mo now and it's definitely got worse over the last few weeks... So no advice, just sympathy!

My 5.5 month old is the same I think it's a phase they go through at this age! My ds is usually worse when he is tired although since being able to sit-up unaided he has been a lot happier!

DD was the same around that age, I think it's often just a phase. It helped if DP took her out, so she was off doing something, rather than me walking out on her.
Congratulations on managing to have a bath though, I think I only had very quick showers or baths with her for about the first 9 months!

Possibly teething too which won't help
Lots of peekaboo and lots of short bursts of absences. Start at 30 secs and work up.
Try a jumperoo, it's easier to see where someone is when you are standing up

My 13 week dd is like this my dad babysat last weekend for a couple of hours and although she didnt cry the whole time she wouldnt settle or go to sleep, I came home and after ten minutes she was flat out she hates even being in the car as she cant see me!

Why dud hv recommend weening?

My little one is same age and also getting clingy to me. I have the wonder weeks app and book and it's really useful at identifying developmental leaps and understanding why babies do things at certain ages - they are going through a relationship leap at the moment! As for weaning guidelines are being revised as there is a school of thought that six months is too late now so watch this space for yet another change in official advice! I'm giving my lo some fruit and veg to munch on too and he loves it! Good luck!

Thanks for the replies.

Weaning is due to sustained high levels of feeding with discomfort afterwards. She's a big baby. Light meals starting once a day have made her a lot happier. Advice does now seem to recognise that six months may be too late for some. We did coax a few more weeks out of her.

That is a side issue though. She still feeds from me roughly 12 times a day and the screaming has been a feature since long before a spoon of baby rice.

Fingers crossed it is a phase. It makes sense that going out would be better - as would day time when she is less tired. Doesn't help when it is an evening event though.

I hate hearing her so upset. She just loves being worn, feeding and snuggles. I just occasionally need a tiny bit of time.

Are you sure she doesn't have silent reflux? My friends son was diagnosed at 7-8 months. He was a huge child so the GP wouldn't entertain it. Took huge bullying to get baby Gaviscon sorted and he now sleeps well, eats normally and is no longer a clinging whinging basket case if my friend leaves him for 2 mins.

Heartburn is a vicious circle - you're the cause but also the source of v temporary comfort.