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Parenting

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Original poster

save me from horrible bedtimes - 6yo and 3yo

11 replies

ElizabethMedora · 17/09/2014 21:26

I have a bedtime problem.

My (just turned) 6 and (just turned) 3 year olds share a room. I want to be able to read them their stories, turn on the nightlight & their lullaby CD, and leave the room. They want me to stay with them. If I stay with them, they keep talking to me.

If DH is at home, I leave the room after stories & he does the rest. There is some protest when I go but they settle & are fine when he leaves. Unfortunately DH is often out at bedtime & it's just me. It's HORRIBLE. I had 2 hours of screaming & crying, I don't even know why the 6yo does it, I think she feeds off the 3yo. I would cave in and stay with them but even that takes hours because they take it as an invite to keep bloody chatting to me. I shout, stomp, cajole & all the rest of it but it doesn't seem to work. They have reward charts & did manage a reward last week but tonight was so incredibly hideous they will not be getting a reward this weekend.

What do I doooo???

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spookyskeleton · 17/09/2014 21:29

Do you put them to bed at the same time? If so, I would put the 3 year old to bed and read them stories and let them fall asleep. I would then read stories to the 6 year old downstairs/in your bedroom and then put them to bed quietly and in the dark a little bit later.

Original poster

ElizabethMedora · 17/09/2014 21:31

Yeah, they both go to bed about 7.15 (supposedly - that is when they go to sleep when DH is here anyway!). 3yo would not settle without the 6yo there, she would be screaming blue murder about the 6yo getting to watch TV while she had to go to bed instead...

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Puppydogstails1 · 17/09/2014 21:33

Can you put them to bed at different times? Why don't you bath them both then give your six year old a story (or dare I say it Cbeebies) for half an hour (or maybe longer at first) whilst you settle your youngest in the bedroom. You could do this when you know your husband will be at home for a couple of nights...?

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Puppydogstails1 · 17/09/2014 21:34

sorry - was interrupted during writing and Elizabeth got there first!

spookyskeleton · 17/09/2014 21:36

Mmm, I think it is reasonable for a 6 year old to be allowed to stay up later than a sibling who is 3 years younger. Maybe you need to be firm about it with the younger one, tackle that and it might make evenings easier.

My 2 share a room and the eldest one has always had a later bedtime for the very reason that they would mess about and feed off each other.

Iggly · 17/09/2014 21:36

You can stay with them and not chat? My two like me to stay but now know what once I say goodnight there is no chat. It took a few nights of me repeating "goodnight" every time they said something for the message to sink in. Occasionally I had the odd wee request but I try and anticipate those beforehand.

Original poster

ElizabethMedora · 17/09/2014 21:36

The 6yo would be happy with going to bed at different times, but I would still either have to stay with the 3 yo until she fell asleep, or go through the same screaming battle for 1+ hrs (it was 2+ hrs tonight) until 3yo finally fell asleep & I could put the 6yo to bed. It doesn't really appeal. I just want to be able to put them both to bed & shut the door on them! (barring genuine and actual needs obviously!)

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imip · 17/09/2014 21:38

Could 6yo have headphones and an audio book to block out noise while you focus on getting the 3yo to sleep?

Original poster

ElizabethMedora · 17/09/2014 21:38

The thing that really bloody galls me is that they will bloody do it for DH! And then when he works late shifts I get to spend hours of horrible battling with the kids to be rewarded by a pile of dirty dishes & the debris of the day all to myself to clear up when all I am fit for is a glass of wine & a catch up with GBBO.

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Original poster

ElizabethMedora · 17/09/2014 21:42

I'm ranty. It was just one of those awful sagas where you are not the parent you want to be (but the parent I want to be still wants them to go to sleep!).

I will try audio book. That could work.

everyone.

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NormHonal · 17/09/2014 21:43

My two are the same ages and currently sharing a room.

I put them both to bed at the same time, I read two stories (they choose one each) then it's a kiss and lights out, no more talking after that.

I stay with them until they are asleep, but sit on the floor by the door using my ipad, so no eye contact. If they talk/mess around, I leave the room. If they want Mummy back, they have to be good/quiet.

They usually fall asleep quickly. Tonight I had a battle with DC2 but DC1 was already fast asleep and didn't wake up.

FWIW they are both being pretty vile due to back-to-school tiredness.

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