6 Month old still waking in night!

[Ang2585]

I am really worried about my sister her 6 Month old is up several times during the night still! He is breastfed baby and on solids. He is up every couple of hours and grumpy during the day, my sister is at her wits end. She has another child with Autisim he is 6. Unfortunately she is only in a 2 bed house, sharing with older brother is not an option.
She has tried controlled crying for 4 nights and not feeding him until 6am. Also tried bottle feeding expressed milk which he refused. He seems to be using breastfeeding as a comfort. During the past 4 nights of controlled crying he has not been lifted up, just settled with his dummy. She has also tried putting a piece of her clothing in his cot so he smells her, nothing she has tried makes a difference. He is on 3 meals a day And breast milk, hunger is definitely not the cause.
Anyone else had the same problem? Any advice?

Sorry but I think it is totally normal for a 6 month old to wake in the night - I think you and your sister need to adjust your expectations.

Normal! My 18 month old still occasionally wakes up.

Sorry, but another who thinks that if baby sleeps through at 6 months you're very very lucky! I've got a 1 year old who hasn't slept for more than 6 hours in a row. Ever. More often than not is up 4 times in the night sometimes more.

It is completely and utterly normal for a 6 month old to wake in the night. It may be tiring and I do sympathise. But it is very normal for babies to want to be fed at night or to want mum. I would suggest she just rolls with it for now. Has she tried co-sleeping? When I was breastfeeding I found that a good way of getting the rest I needed and tending to the baby at the same time.

Also, it might be hunger, babies only have small stomachs so they need filling little and often!
But most likely be comfort, could she try co-sleeping so she doesn't have to actually get up and out of bed (it's what works for me!)

Bf isn't the problem. My ff DD1 never slept through until she was ten months old.

Some older babies wake up in the night. It's draining but true.

Could you look after her DC in the day so she can catch up on sleeping?

My 10 month old still wakes twice in the night. While obviously not ideal I thought it was pretty normal! Surely it isn't the norm that babies sleep through at 6 months? I realise it must be hard for your sister, fingers crossed the baby starts to sleep through soon.

Most 6 month olds do wake in the night!

Mine has been in bed since 7, has woken twice sitting himself up/needing his dummy, will have a feed before I go to bed about 10.30/11, and will be up for another feed about 4am and then come into bed with me.

My baby is 10 weeks old and has slept through the night from 7 weeks. My son has been the same. Her first child slept through from 7 weeks, he was breastfed too! It's nothing to do with being hungry if he is getting 3 meals a day, he is nearly 18 pounds. If he was hungry through the night he would have taken the expressed milk but instead pushed it away.

Yeah well my FF baby was still waking for milk at 2 years old! At that point we all agreed action needed to be taken. But at six months? Surely par for the course. Albeit a tough course!

I think you guys have had a lucky time of it sleeping wise but
I am afraid the current situation does not merit a very worried.

It's pretty normal for a 6 month old to need one or maybe even two feeds during the night (your babies and your sister'a first baby were unusual)

But waking every 2 hours isn't normal and does suggest a feed to sleep habit rather than hunger.

If she wants to do controlled crying it's best not to use a dummy as that is not teaching him to fall asleep on his own. the idea with CC is they need to learn to fall asleep with no assistance from the parent, whether breast or dummy or rocking or anything. So, at bedtime, you leave him for 5 minutes, then go in and comfort but then leave while he is still awake, then repeat (you can keep going in every 5 minutes or leave longer intervals) until finally he falls asleep by himself. Usually it would work after 3-4 nights if not quicker, but you have to be consistent and not revert to using dummy/breast etc to help him sleep.

Lots of people on MN very anti controlled crying though. Just to warn you.

Before doing controlled crying she must be sure he is not in any pain eg teething or ill.

My baby woke until she was 10 months, because we fed her every time she woke. We stopped feeding her, and she stopped waking.

I wouldn't have been confident that she wasn't hungry at 6 months, but every baby is different. It's highly unlikely he needs to be fed every couple of hours, that's for sure. And its difficult to restrict them to just one night feed because as your sister's discovered, if they have an association that they need to get back to sleep, they need it every time they wake, at the end of a sleep cycle.

To be kind, I wouldn't backtrack on the night weaning that she's doing - it will just confuse him. I don't agree with the idea that you have to leave them to cry - we picked up and comforted DD, we just didn't give her milk. She was sleeping through, and much happier, in a few days. A year later has slept through ever since.

I think you guys lucked out....19 month old, still up twice during the night, which is a blessing from the days of anything up to 10 night wakenings!

Completely normal. Even my "brilliant" (it's all relative!) sleeper was still waking in the night until about 7 months. My youngest, admittedly towards the other end of the spectrum, didn't sleep through until he was 3, despite my best efforts.

I don't think it's a problem that a 6 month old baby wants to be comforted at night, they're still tiny! And the world is a confusing place.

I've never understood the need to make little babies independent at night, surely if they wake up and cry then the logical thing to do is go to them and give them comfort?

Later on, sure, train them to sleep but everything I've read says they're only barely ready for sleep training at 6 months.

surely if they wake up and cry then the logical thing to do is go to them and give them comfort?

I totally agree, and we have always, always, in 22 months, gone to DD when she cried. Not once left her. Just stopped giving her 6oz bottles three hourly

My DD2 was 2 before she slept through the night, waking at least twice every night.......shattered doesn't even cover it!! Now she sleeps in until at least 7am, bliss!!

My 2.8 year old doesn't consistently sleep through. 6 months old is still completely normal!

Both mine woke several times until 2.5 - tried every trick. Then one day it just stopped - both times

If the baby is bf is it possible for some one else other than mum to go to him when he cries? My dd soon gave up night wakings when she realised it was just dad that came in. We'd already done cc so she could self sooth to sleep after dh had been in to settle.

I'd recommend no dummy either.
If it makes your sister feel better my dd got much worse just before she started to sleep through, she went from 2 night feeds to 4+. I was at my wits end so sent dh in took 2 nights, It was around the 6month mark.
Good luck

Maybe the baby just wants a bit of comfort? Mine wakes twice in the night but I only feed her if she really won't settle. She usually just wants a cuddle/reassurance that her mummy is there, which I am more than happy to give at 10 months.

I'm a bit different to most of the crowd on MN because I don't cope well without sleep so I am willing to throw everything I've got at getting my babies to sleep. CC was very effective for me (ay 4 months) but I'm not sure it would have worked if I hadn't had help, because my bf babies would have been able to smell their milky mummy and I think that would have made it much harder for them to re-settle without a feed.

Could you maybe spare a few nights to try again with the cc without your sister being there? I found that having a steady day-time routine was also pretty essential, although I was no GF prisoner.

If your sister is genuinely struggling/not coping then the problem can be dealt with, but an exhausted Mum is sometimes the worst person to actually deal with it.

I just did a week of gentle cc with my 6mo (going in to comfort frequently, picking up for cuddles and giving water) and dd has gone from waking and needing feeding comfort 3/4 times throughout the night to waking once for a feed (that Im planning on reducing and withdrawing when solids are x3 a day) and possibly a little cry that doesn't need attention once or twice between 7-7.

I do think feeding at night can become a habit, but they start to genuinely need the food and their tummies get conditioned to being hungry.