How did you get your LO to stay in their cot?

[Bumchin101]

My DS is 7.5 months old. He will stay in his cot till about 1am then no matter what I do he won't settle back to sleep unless he's in our bed and even then it's non stop wiggling, if I try and put him back in his cot he wakes up instantly and the whole crying thing starts again. I've tried giving him a bottle just in case he's hungry, putting our sheet underneath him as it smells like us in case it's a comfort thing and I've tried just ignoring him, cuddling him till he's calm then putting him back, putting the table light on in case he's afraid of the dark. Running out of ideas and getting up every night for 2 hours trying to sooth him and get him back to sleep is slowly taking its toll.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom!? Sorry if this is long winded...I'm shattered and cannot think straight :(

I'm afraid I walked up and down DD's room in the dark with her cradled in my arms until she was asleep. Bloody hell you should have seen my eye bags arm muscles!

I'm really hoping it's a phase :(

It's called 'learning to manipulate mummy and daddy and getting exactly what I want'. All you do by letting him in your bed, cradling him or rocking to sleep is let him know that when he cries, you'll do want he wants. To sort it depends how you feel about letting him cry? I was happy to do this but know many people are not.

When he cries, go in, have a cuddle, out him back and leave. I find it easier to sit on the landing rather than go back to bed, as you know you'll be in again. Set yourself a time limit. Maybe 5 mins then back him. Stroke his head to let him know you're there then leave again. Just keep repeating it, leaving the time longer and longer between going in. I wouldn't carry on if he becomes hysterical as you don't want to traumatise him and make things work. You might be doing it all night, but persevere and usually within 3 nights (max 1 week) it'll he sorted.

Ps. He won't be afraid if the dark unless you've taught him that, which I doubt you have.

I didn't. DD never settled in a cot and now sleeps on a mattress on the floor of her baby-proofed bedroom. She much prefers it, although I have to fess up that she's still not the best sleeper. A vast improvement though.

It's called 'learning to manipulate mummy and daddy and getting exactly what I want

No. Babies cannot communicate properly nor can they manipulate you in that way.

I took dd into bed with me. She is now 2 and happily sleeps in her bed all night.

I'm also not convinced that a 7.5mth old is learning to manipulate mummy and daddy!

OP I think you're right in that it probably is "just a phase", although I do know that this is no bloody comfort when you haven't had 4 straight hours of sleep for nearly a year. All I can advise is patience, faith and perseverance. As Loz says, what you do now really does depend on whether you're OK with him crying it out to whatever extent. Personally, at that age I believed that my boy needed the comfort and closeness of being in bed with us for a little while, so although he slept (fitfully) in his own room from 5.5mths, I was bringing him into our bed quite a bit, particularly in the mornings. FWIW, at 9 mths he went from waking and feeding at least 3-4 times a night to sleeping through for about 10-11 hrs, and has never really looked back, bar a few small hiccups. At 12 mths, he's not a perfect sleeper but he is sooooo much better than he was a few months ago, and it's not as if we suddenly started doing anything differently!

I didn't,
Moses basket she slept fine.
But not the cot, that was next to my bed.
So shes been in with me for a year now,
we still co-sleep at 16 months, its the only way we get some sleep. She still doesn't sleep through the night.
Ive been told she will one day,
when she starts school

A 7.5 month old is 'learning to manipulate'?? I'm pretty sure they don't have the emotional maturity for that.
OP I'm afraid we just persevered! It was exhausting but for various reasons co-sleeping wasn't for us so we just kept putting DD back until eventually she got used to her cot. It was a hard slog but at 10 months old she now sleeps happily in her cot. She still wakes up once or twice a night but will settle back in her cot after a cuddle or a feed.

I wish I knew! Having the same issue with DS2 - 9mo. He goes to bed in his cot, wakes after an hour and settles after feed/cuddle then sleeps about 2 hours then ends up in bed with us.
He gets properly hysterical if left even for a couple of minutes when he wakes, but does sleep pretty well now in our bed. I've decided to give him a bit longer before trying to get him properly into his cot, as I've recently gone back to work so he may be unsettled.
He's no good at self settling because DS1 had sleep apnoea and until his surgery (which solved the problem) we did everything to maximise sleep for him as he was barely getting any, including being quick to settle DS2 so he didn't wake his brother. So I am aware we have helped create this problem by not allowing him time to settle himself, but we couldn't risk him waking DS1. Now both boys are sleeping better, we will take steps soon to hopefull change that (maybe PUPD)