dealing with DC being ill if i return to work?

[Newbiecrafter]

Hi there

I have been thinking about returning to work when my youngest starts school which was this September. I am waiting to hear about a job that I am being considered for. I applied a couple of weeks before DC went back to school and should hear this week.

DS has just started reception and 5 days in, he's come down with Gastroenteritis. Its day 6 now and he is getting better and if he has no further episodes, he can go back to school tomorrow, which will be 48hrs since the last one.

This has got me thinking about what I would do if DS or DD are unwell and cant go to school. Also, when DS was hit by this bug, he was sick just as we were leaving to go to school. SO had I been working I wouldn't have been able to get to work.

DP would help if he had to, but he is always working under a lot of pressure and would find it difficult. in this case DS has been off since last Thursday, so so far that would have been 4 days off work. I don't think when they are unwell like this, working from home would be an issue.

We don't have family nearby, so how do other parents deal with this? I know plenty of parents do work and deal with this everyday, but I cant work out how, especially with odd bouts of sickness and school holidays which aslo need covering.

my DC are 4 and 7.

many thanks for any advice or help, and sorry if I sound a bit dim. I am genuinely confused by this.

Also you might find it easier to do longer days ie 9-5 mon- wed and use after school clubs on those days rather than trying to work every day.

This will work better if kids are ill in terms of swapping a day plus gives you a chance of attending any school assemblies/ reading sessions during the week.

yes you have to share with your DP. And if your job is still new then he might have to carry the bulk of the burden. Presumably if you have been at home it's not something he has had to so much so far?

DD2 is starting FT at the school nursery soon and I am expecting chicken pox at some point. Work have been put on alert. They are very understanding, but I am expecting XP to share in care for any illness lasting more than a couple of days.

Is your work computer based? If so, I can access my work computer remotely via by laptop (or anywhere really). And I get emails on my phone so at least I can keep up with some stuff, sick child care permitting.

With impeccable timing, my DD started vomiting on the very eve of my return to work after nearly 5 yrs as a SAHP.

DH took some time off work to look after her, he was able to do some work from home, and as I work short days, was able to pop in to the office when I got home.

Now we tend to decide who is off based on what we have on at work, but it is muddling through as others have said.

Abi, partnership is what I would prefer although I do tend to do most of the dc related stuf, as I'm at home. The trouble is I think and need to plan ahead, and DP doesn't so it's always me that is raising these things.

I think the muddling through thing is good to know. I know I can't plan for all eventualities, but I feel more comfortable at least considering these things in advance. I wonder, is that another male female difference??

Girlie, sometimes I wonder if doing longer days would be better but at the moment I feel like I want to be here for the mornings and after school.

Be cool, my work could be done remotely but to start with I'd be offered, if I am offered the work, a short term contract and they don't like contractors to work from home. The company I am speaking to are being really great. I used to work for them a long time ago, infact before dd arrived, and they are good to even be considering me. However the company has changed hands since, so my reputation from before is obsolete. So, if I get it, and I mess it up, that would be it I. Terms of future work with them, if that makes sense. I almost think, like Lavendersun, that if I can't do it properly then I should probably hold off doing it at all.

All your replies are really helpful in making me realise that I'm not unreasonable to expect DP to do more, if I am also working. He isn't used to it, but that's not a reason to not do it.

Thinking about it, my dc prefer me if they're unwell to the dad, so if they are I'll they will find that a but of an adjustment too. But again, not reason enough not to do it.

Thanks for listening and helping me sort my thoughts out about this.

Like I said already, I might not even get the job, but I feel better prepared for it I do.

Rhinestone, that's typical isn't it. Do you think kids can sense change on the horizon. Muddling through is going to be my mantra if I get the job.

Thanks. Xxx

Good luck with the job - it will all work out. Muddle through sums it up for so many working parents :)

yes the working remotely is thinking longer term, not for when you just go back.

I think you are allowed to take (unpaid) leave to look after children. Maybe I am lucky, but most people I have worked for have been understanding. As long as you don't abuse it, then they should understand f you need to take time off for a sick child. I feel it comes with the territory of employing a mum ( or dad).

You can take time off for dependants in emergency type situations - unexpected illness/ breakdown in child care arrangements. You should not be penalised for this. It a unpaid leave. You can also then apply for time off parental leave if necessary - again unpaid and again you can't be penalised.

Neither are ideal help if you are in real difficulties, eg all holiday already taken.

Grumpy partners are par for the course - no one likes having their working conditions changed to be slightly less convenient, even if it's overall for the best. And this will be changing your parenting 'working conditions'. But your DH sounds supportive, so you need to ignore the grumps when they happen, and remember it's not personal. You just need to keep talking and focusing on what's fair.
Good luck! Don't delay going back out of worry - if you have an opportunity now, take it if you can. The details will all get sorted on a 'muddle-through it' basis!

DH gets 5 days more holiday than me, so he does extra holidays, and we spilt the illness. Usually by "Oh heck, whats in my diary for today, who can rearrange the most readily?" I also have a boss with 5 (!) kids, and a SAHwife, but he gets it. I'm allowed to work from home, and if over 2 days, I achieve 8 hrs, I only take one days holiday. If I achieve 4 hrs work, I take 1.5 days hol.

My Mum isn't local, but she has always said if we get something long running, she will come up. So the day DS2 got chicken pox, we rang her, and she came up the next day for the week. She couldn't make it a fortnight later when DS1 got it (he managed to be FT at nursery from 1yr old, and not catch it til he was 5).

Holidays: holiday clubs, grandparents, annual leave spilt: so DH has a fortnight, and I have a fortnight, but we only overlap in the middle week for a holiday. So thats 3 weeks of the summer hols covered.

If your work has an arrangement where you can carry over holiday to the next year, keep some til the bitter end: you can guarantee that as soon as you have planned in all the holidays, someone will throw up!

Muddle through pretty much sums it up.

Thanks so much everyone.

I feel so much clearer in my mind about how others manage these situations.

You've all been so helpful and thank you for sharing your ways of doing things, it helps loads.

We phone dm and beg a lot, otherwise we take it in turns to have emergency time off for dependants.

Have a plan beforehand.At first I had a 'back up emergency childminder' who was happy to take them if they were just not 100% with something non contagious.

While you're at it, think of snow days plans.

Its really hard to think on the hop so its good to have a few possible contingencies.