DD christening

[tigersmummy]

Hi everyone, we have a DS 6 and DD 2. We have had DS christened at 10 months but still haven't had DD 'done'.
DH says we definitely should, his main reason being DS has been but I'm not convinced. I would do it purely to have those who we have asked to be godparents.

Another reason against it is my DS has autism and although it is mild some situations unsettle him. I think it's this that is ultimately putting me off. I'm not sure how he would be sitting still for x amount of time in a church and not knowing how he would behave would put stress onto me. I did fall out with my friend over DS' christening so I don't want another potential stressful day. Generally he is well behaved but in times of different situations he can get silly then can react angrily if told to behave himself etc.

Also although we are happy with those we have chosen as godparents, DS' godparents haven't been the best - rarely see him and are not in his life in a regular way.

If you're not Christian then what's the point?

Just to have a party? Just because it's something you think you have to do?

If it isn't an event with has special meaning to you, then just don't do it.

You know your child best, and what would suit him (and the family's needs) best.

Are you part of a church now? Would be good if you were as the Minister would know your DS's personality and how to fit the style of your DD's Baptism around his needs.

Lots of churches have autistic people/children, and are sensitive to their needs. Off the top of my head I can think of 3 autistic people who are regular attenders in our congregation.

If you are part of a church community then talk to the minister or priest about your concerns. We have quiet areas that can help but parents who are not used to church seem very reluctant to use them. I can remember one lad who was in very smart clothes that were upsetting him and his parents insisted on him being at the front when he was clearly not happy. Any of our church children would have wandered off to play quietly or read or stick their fingers in their ears in one of the quiet chapels on their own.

If you are not part of a church community following the baptism of your first child and have no intention of doing so in the future then why baptise the second? Baptism is about joining a community of faith and an intent to raise the baby or child as a Christian. You don't have to have mastered all the intricacies of theology to have your child baptised but you promised to turn to Christ at the first baptism. If you haven't done anything about it then this site might help get some of the basics of what you promised to do first time www.rejesus.co.uk.

If baptism isn't right for you then there are thanksgiving services which are more informal and do what they say on the tin, give thanks in a public setting for your lovely child. Or get a civil celebrant to create a naming and thanksgiving ceremony for you.

Thank you for this, we christened DS as my mum had died when he was a baby so we wanted the year to end on a positive really. I think I need to think about it more. I personally don't believe that you have to be a churchgoer to be a good Christian and we have also moved since DS was christened so we're not in that same community.

I agree that attending a church is not paramount to being a Christian.

I would have a look at you local churches and see which offer individual christenings.

the churches local to me when dd was christened were fabulous especially after I explained that my family live around 250 miles away so a 9am start withdraw main service was going to be problematic. they were fabulous! we had the whole church to ourselves and at a time that suited. and all they asked was a donation, not even charged. we were happy to give them a substantial donation as they had been so very helpful and squeezed us in at short notice as mil was dying so needed to be quick, unfortunately she died just before it but it meant the world to her that we were doing it (and to me)