Playdate etiquette

[halfdrunkcoffee]

My DS is 3.10 and at school nursery. I'm told that he usually plays on his own or alongside other children so I was quite pleased when he said that he wanted another boy to come and play at our house. I mentioned this to his mum today at the drop-off and she said we could try and sort something out. She only lives about five minutes walk from me.

We've never really done 'playdates' (dreaded American word) before, just sometimes met up with other mums and their children, which has been more for my sake than DS's. So a quick question really - I presume that at this age the other boy's mum would stay? At what age roughly do parents stop staying?

I would say yes she will stay.

Dd is now 4 and will occasionally have a play with friends dd and stay on her own. We know parents well though.

I wouldn't assume the parent will stay. I would suggest that she does, make sure you have tea, coffee and biscuits :-)

I would say at that age the majoirty of mums would stay for the playdate...especially if the child has never been to your house before. But no harm in asking or casually hinting that you would like her to stay.

I remember organising a playdate for my DS when he was 3 and nursery friend who I had never met and I had also never met his mum. My DS just used to talk about him a lot and I passed my number onto his mum via the nursery. Anyway, given that the boys were both 3, that neither the boy or the mum had ever met me, and that I had also mentioned to his mum via text that I was 9 months pregnant, I had assumed she would stay. But she didn't. She had seen it as free childcare, dropped him off for 2 hours and he was, frankly, a little monster. He was never invited back again!

Stock up on tea, coffee and biscuits and prepare for loads of noise and excited shouting!

Thanks for the replies. I presume she'd want to stay but will make sure to suggest it just in case, and will have plenty of drinks and snacks at the ready.

Yes make sure she stays!

Just say something like would you both like to come over for an hour or so, the boys can play and we can have some coffee or something and see how they get on

I agree with being clear, I normally say "Would you like to bring X over so the kids can have a play together".

Best thing to do, in the first instance, is say "do you fancy popping around so that the kids can play and we can have tea and cake?". That way you establish expectations through the invitation. Not helpful this time but will be next time.