My daughter cries inconsolably in the morning and hates school!!

[charh24]

Hello

Hoping someone can help as I am all out of ideas.

I have a five year old daughter who has just started in year one. We moved to a new area at the end of the last school year so this school is relatively new to her, also she is now being dropped to a childminder whereas before I dropped her to my mum in the mornings.

I know these are both big changes for her, every morning when I drop her to the childminder she cries and screams inconsolably. It breaks my heart and after I have left I often end up in tears too. I have asked her why she is so upset and she always replies it's because she misses me and she thinks she is at school too long. I have asked if anyone is being mean to her during the day and she has said no.

I have tried offering her a reward if she can manage to be brave and not cry, I tried bringing her favourite snack and toy from home to the childminders, I've tried being soft with her about it and I have tried being firm with her. Nothing works, if anything its getting worse.

Its such an upsetting start to the day for both of us we can't carry on like this. When I pick her up from school she is her usual happy self and always says she has had a good day. I just dont understand how to fix this!

Any ideas PLEASE

Hi
I know what you are going through as we had a similar situation last year. The rewards did work and I took so time off work (only a few days) so I could do drop offs, and luckily both sets of grandparents did the same.
It took a good few weeks but now he loves his school. He like your lo didn't know many people initially(he changed mid year as we moved and he does breakfast club and after school). He made lots of friends quickly ( that didn't seem to help ) but the school were great and really helped.
After a few days of them physically peeling him off me and carrying him in, the male ta got him to help him with greeting people as they came in. He loved it and after a week or so we had no issues. Have you spoken to the school?

Does she settle quickly once you leave or is she distressed all day?

3 things helped my daughter - hope they will work again when she starts at 'big' nursery on Friday!

1 - give her something of yours to have with her the whole day. I gave her a hair scrunchie (actually bought a pack of them for when they get lost!) and she wears it on her wrist to remind her that mummy loves her and is thinking of her.
2 - teach her the phrase 'mummy always...comes back' - you say the first bit and she says the second bit. Over and over again. And whatever she says just remind her - yes but mummy always...comes back.
3 - ask her to make / do something for you at school today that she can give / show you when you pick her up. Gives her day a purpose.

Hope that helps!

Aww you poor thing! I am sure once she settles in at her new school she will be better. it is really hard and very daunting to have so much change in such a shirt space of time at that age. (I moved a lot as a kid)

the ideas already given are brilliant, but I would question whether there would be a way of changing your work schedule for a week or so so that you can take her to school til she makes friends and settles?

alternatively could you explain that you miss her too and it's ok to miss people but school is important and once she is home with you you can both do x/y/Z so she has something to look forward to

Poor thing and poor you. It will get better in time. Is she just really really tired? She might feel more emotional in the mornings. Are they rushed? If so, I might try to have a couple of mornings taking her in yourself if you can, or at least focusing on a calm and relaxed morning routine.