Opinion/thoughts needed

[CandODad]

So, my DD (6) Has the choice of swimming or ballet, She has her heart set on ballet and has dreams in her had of looking like a graceful prima ballerina (which to me she already does)

My DW and I feel she should do swimming like her brother is doing as this is a valuable skill that could save her life at some point plus when her brother is able to be in the pool having fun she wont have a clue.

I have tried to talk to her about it but she ends up in tears sobbing that (in her own words) "I want to do ballet, I have wanted to my entire life" (which did raise a little chuckle that I suppressed)

Now I know people have it a lot worse and I am glad she can have these options as I certainly never. But what would you do? go with a six year olds "dream" or give her what you see as a life skill?

a) find out what level of swimming tuition your primary school offers
b) find out whether you qualify for subsidised/fully funded swimming tuition at your local pool

You may find that you do not have to choose one or other but can do both.

I can't believe you even ask! If she's that passionate, go with the ballet! And take her swimming yourself.
Is doing both not an option, my son does both. We have a very reasonably priced swimming school here,

I'm 30 years old now and I still remember how utterly heartbroken I was when I was a young child and my dad wouldn't let me have ballet lessons It makes me a little bit sad when I think about it even now.

Let her do ballet - always encourage a child's passion.

Both I'd have thought, unless really unfeasible?

I'd say, Yes dd you can have ballet lessons so long as you work really hard at swimming too.

If it really must be just one then unless you live right next to a river I'd let her do ballet. She'll never try hard at swimming and always resent it rather than it being a joy. It's a lose lose situation to force a child to swim IMHO.

Could you teach her ballet? Probably not. But it is totally possible for a parent to teach a child to swim. How regularly does she swim with family? My LO goes once a week with her dad and at just under three is a total waterbaby. She simply wont need swimming lessons. She may wish to join a swim club or a dive club but not to learn how to swim.

It's only a choice if she has some say in the decision!
Let her do ballet, then take her swimming yourself.

Do ballet for a term but resist buying the uniform.
Once she (quickly) realises that ballet is a lot of practice and she's not immediately going to be dancing like a prima ballerina, she'll be bored after that, and you can book for swimming lessons.....
In the meantime take her swimming yourself and take every chance to introduce her to all the cool stuff she can do when she can swim (inflatables sessions, pool parties, canoeing etc).

so you gave her a choice, she chose and now you want to force her to do something else. great parenting there

wheresthelight

Did I say the choice was hers? No. Did I say we offered her the option? No.

"I said she has a choice between" as in she has always said she wants to do ballet but both dw and I have always wanted her to start swimming. She knows she can have one additional activity and knows if she goes swimming ballet will never happen.

Does that vindicate my style of both wording and parenting enough for you? Either way I couldn't give a shit since you are clearly a wonderfully judgemental person that wants to criticise rather than offer an opinion. But hey I thought I would give you the choice!

actually you do say she has a choice in the first line of the original post. but go ahead and berate because I don't happen to think that offering her a choice and then trying to bully her onto doing what you want is Stella parenting

So, my DD (6) Has the choice of swimming or ballet

Well aren't you lovely. You can teach her to swim. Let her do ballet if that's what she wants to do.

wheresthelight

Read my whole reply to you since I pretty much covered this. "choice" was my turn of phrase NOT the situation I put my daughter in.

"I said she has a choice between"
That sounds like she had a choice.

If you want her to do swimming, then take her swimming. That is your desire, not hers. She clearly wants to do ballet, so if you are allowing her any say at all, then that is what she should be allowed to do!

Swimming is a wonderful activity to do as a family.
Ballet can be her activity.

Can I ask, why is it a choice between them?

Swimming is a life skill, I wouldn't consider it optional for a child.

She sounds so happy and excited about ballet, why wouldn't you want her to experience that?

If you want your daughter to hate swimming, you are going about it the right way.

OP - you definitely gave the impression that you offered your child a choice between the two. We can only base our replies on the information you have given us.

I agree with others, swimming is a life skill and it's a no brainer but could you not teach her yourself? She'll pick it up much more quickly if she's having fun in the pool with family.

So let her do the ballet, she's a little girl and will love it at least for a while

Not every second of our child's lives has to be meaningful. It's ok to do stuff just for fun and create memories.

Respond to the little girl that she is now, not the woman you think she should/will be in the future.

bighairy

The choice falls since my son does swimming but is a year away from other activities so we are trying to make sure he doesn't feel like dd is getting everything. She will have rainbows, swimming and ballet while he has swimming.

So explain to him when he's bigger he can do other things too.

Getting everything? What on earth? Some things are appropriate for some ages. (Though, how old is he? he's either young enough not to know / care what DD is up to, or old enough to do ballet himself?)

Your attitude is rather.... unforgiving.

My kids are 6 years apart, they both have different activities, they are also a girl and a boy...so their activities differ somewhat. I don't think you should be trying to get a completely even balance, kids have to learn sometimes they get,sometimes they don't and it can't all be their own way....so explain he can do other things when he's older.

Kids aren't very passionate sometimes about activites, at 6, activities often being chosen by the parents. If she really wants to do ballet, and you can make that happen for her, I would do it. It's really important lot to force your kids down the path you want for them. Let her try.

Unless it's a financial issue, I still don't understand why she can't do both?