4 week old - crying all the time!! am i doing something wrong??

[ellanatal]

My ds2 is 4 weeks and seems to be crying all the time - when he wakes up (which seems to be pretty often!) sometimes during his bottle and quite often after it! i presumed he had colic so i've been giving him infacol since tues but its made no difference. i've also got a dd so i dont have all the time in the world to hold him when he's crying and then when i do pick him up when he's crying i think i'm positively reinforcing the crying - or is he too young for that?

He's also not sleeping well on his own - in the night will quite happy go after his feed at 10 till 4 but he'll have been awake and then gone back to sleep in my arms - tried a dummy but he just spits it out?

Any advice out there - fell like i cant do right for him at the minute!

ella - buy a sling.

Seriously. He's not too old to be cuddled all the time - newborns need the affection.

I do believe in teaching them to sleep at night on their own - but that's something that just needs to be enforced with putting them down repeatedly and soothing but not cuddling.

If you do think it's colic - which I believe is more crying/drawing legs up between 10pm and 3am so not sure (that's how my ds had it anyways) then colief is far superior to infacol. Doesn't sound hugely like colic but that's just my opinion, not medical fact

Don't feel you aren't doing it right, you know as well as anyone it's not a science, we all make it up as we go along

Hi Ellanatal, Unfortunately sounds totally normal, I found ds suddenly changed at about 4 weeks. He used to go straight back to sleep after a feed and slept most of the day, at 4 weeks he stopped doing this and seemed unsettled. He settled down again after a few weeks, I found colycinth granules helped colic and letting him lie with no nappy seemed to ease his discomfort. You are doing a great job and I don't think you can positively reinforce crying at that age, just cuddle him if it makes you both happy. Big hugs 4u xxx

both my ds's had severe colic and would cry all day long,they'd feed, scream, throw up and sleep.thats all they would do each day.tried various things at the time except coleif as i was told that it couldnt be due to the lactalose as they were constipatednow know that that was rubbish.4 years on and its widely known that lactalose can cause crying all day etc.try the colief or id ask hv to see if they recommend trying a low lactalose milk.probably be the same as the milk you are on and adding the colief but will cost less than buying milk and then colief separate.omneo is supposed to be really good but id consult hv first.what type of bottles are you using? is the baby getting too much air? there are various colic bottles around but ive heard that dr browns/b free are the best.both mine screamed from day 1 and were constipated which is why i thought it was more to do with the lactalose than actual normal colic.good luck and let us know how you get on.i spent most of my days pushing them round in a pram, it seemed to settle them.

Ellanatal, awww you aren't doing anything wrong! Some Baby's cry more then others!
Firstly though, did he have a traumatic Birth/C-section...that sometimes can lead to unhappy Baby's...and sometime a cranial sacral Osteopath (or whatever they are called again, lol) can help with that!
Your lil one is still sooooo young and of course he will want lots of cuddles, until 4 weeks ago he was as close as he can be to you, at the moment he doesn't even realise that he isn't part of you anymore, he still thinks he is part of your person! A Sling/Wrap probably be a good idea, as it keeps the Baby close, can help with colic and also gives you handsfree
this is a fab website about Babywearing it explains fantastically all teh good reasosn, etc...!
HTH

Thanks for the advice! cant believe how much i'm stressing since i've already had 3 kids before! he wasnt a very traumatic birth and seemed really placid for the first 2 weeks and then seemed to wake up with a vengence! have given him two droplets full of infacol before his last feed since i havnet managed to get out to get that other stuff and he seems a bit calmer.
more worried about getting into the bad habit of settling him - made that mistake with my dd and was still settling her at 2yo!! my ds1 seemed to settle himself - i just feel bad leaving ds2 to cry when he's tired! will let you know tomorrow how the night was - hopefully it wont be a repeat of last night where he spent most of it on my chest!!

Do wear him (try one of these) and do co-sleep -it really does help. Most cultures wouldn't dream of trying to separate babies from mums as much as it happens here. Oh, and my ds1 cried lots from age 4 weeks to 8 weeks - I still don't know why.

Ellanatal...I personally don't feel that there is anything wrong with a 2 year old needing help with settling, lol...to me, they are still lil Baby's then...it's not always convinient and practical, I know, BUT well...they are only little for a shortwhile and they do grow out of this...indeed research does suggest that, if you actually do things let by your Baby and keep them close, etc...that they will grow independent when they ready and that, indeed this might happen earlier then if you feel that your Baby is manipulating you, etc....(not saying that is how you feel...jsut an example).
With me it was my 3. and last one who was the Baby from Hell...real cutie now, at 2...but the first year I could have happily send him back again, lol...not that thst is possible of course, lol!

i havent experienced what your going through, it must be awful especially as you have another child who needs your attention too

i was speaking to this grandmother who was telling me about her grandchild crying like yours all the time, then someone told her to go to a cranialpath (i think thats what they are called)

wasnt very expensive and after 2 visits her grand daugher was much calmer...apparently its to do with the pressure on there skull during birth that kind of gives them a pain like a headache and the craneal path or oesteopath (or whatever they call them) eases the pressure by gently putting there hand behind there head

it may be worth you looking into this, but you did say that it wasnt a traumatic birth and this ladys grand daughter did have a traumatic birth

hth

had a few calmer moments today but still loads of screaming - part of me thinks some of it is him being overtired. He takes a while to settle to sleep but then wakes again after about half an hour-he does settle back to sleep with lots of cuddles but it cant be good for him not to get a long sleep!not good for me either!

i'm going to look into a cranial sacral therapist - any idea where i find one - i'm in wigan (gtr manchester).

link to a list of practicioners