I disagree with the way you discipline your kids!!

[Moppi]

I think you should say firmly NO you will not behave like that and if she caries on screaming blue abuse at you because her juice is in the wrong cup (the right cup happening to be my ds's which he is using) then she goes without juice and gets taken to the naughty chair/step, if at that point she is still rolling around and screaming and trying to kick and spit at you i would smack her bottom YES SMACK her bottom, she needs to see you are the boss and not just someone to be 'tested'!!!!! enough is enough!!!!!

Something i just wanted to say to my friend about her daughter who is a brat (i love her to bits but she is VERY VERY naughty) i dont think its my place to say this to her, so i had to get it off somewhere! - who knows maybe one day it'll be ok to 'share' tactics with other parent face to face!!

ignoring has the same effect, maybe even more, after all that is why they roll aorund on the floor spitting at you FOR ATTENTION

agree with you up to the point of smacking (and I have smacked my children but not for a bog-standard tantrum)

I would say walk away from her

but yes .. namby-pamby parents need a good talking-to

are you feeling better moppi?

oh ok sorry, ignore me, hope you feel better having vented

Remove the juice
Walk away and ignore
Don't reward the behaviour with any attention

I'd go for the naughty step too but prob stay short of smacking ( do occ smack for very dangerous things).

Not sure about 'namby pamby' parents - maybe she just hasn't worked out a way to discipline that works yet? Took me ages, still not sure I've got it right.

Children who spit at you need to be taught how dirty & vulgar it is and should be disciplined. Although I never want to have to smack my child I'd seriously be considering it if spat at!

I wish she had removed the juice completley but she didnt she just tried to take my ds's until ds shouted oi no thats my juice and she just say oh ok and put it back and went running through my cupboards looking for a cup that was as close to being the same as she could find WHY WHY WHY cant she just say too bad, if you dont like it, then tough! the little sod sat and screamed for 20 minutes because she wanted my dd's new baby annabell doll she got for her first birthday last week to play with as she forgot hers and my dd had hers in her cot, my friend went upsstairs (at some point when i didnt notice) and took it out of dd's cot and gave her it!!!! the little brat NEVER hears the word NO, and if she does she KNOWS its not meant

is namby-pamby cos parent is not giving child clear boundaries

IMHO that is BAD parenting

WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

moppi

i'd have smacked the friend! how dare she take your childs toy for her little brat

I don't think you can blame this child at all! With a mother who is happy to take your childs cup while he is drinking, and remove a toy 'put away' upstairs without asking for it, she stands little chance of being any better until she learns to think for herself! Poor thing.
The mother is being v rude and out of order in your house.

Sounds like it is the mum who is at fault and needs more support/help with learning discipline techniques with her child. The child is only being a child IMO, and could easily be controlled - and IMO without the need to resort to smacking as none of the behaviours described so far seem that out of the ordinary, just that mum has let them get out of hand.

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What do i say to her if i said something how would i word it? how would i say ANYTHING without loosing it and just saying exactly how much her dd pi**es me off! My friend is THE sweetest loveliest girl in the world, but she has absolutley NO discipline over her kids!

Less of the "sod" and "brat" though Moppi

The child is badly behaved because of the way it has been dragged up

Take it up with the mother, being angry towards a child helps no-one

Int he case of the doll, I would have just taken it off the girl, got down to her level and explained that it was a spcial new toy, and that at the moment we were keeping it just in the cot for bedtimes (or some such reason). I would have then suggested an alternative toy. If she had tantrummed, I'd have simply explained same to mum and expected her to deal with it in her way.

The little girl sounds young.

Have to agree - I hate to hear little ones spoke of in such terms. It is the mum at fault, not the child here afterall.

I know that my boss is my boss without her having to smack me. I think DS can make the same logical leap without hitting him (hitting, IMO and IME teaches that someone is scary, not authoritative).

Agree your friend is loopy though and does definitely need to be firm. And I hope you feel better for venting.

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