I have HAD ENOUGH. DD (11yo) is making me so stressed and upset about how untidy she is and I don't know what to do about it. Her room is a real state - fine, I'm sure most kids' rooms are messy, but it's not just 'normal' untidyness. A few examples - she leaves half-eaten food on the floor for weeks days, she plays with nail varnish and then puts the brush on the bed so it's all over the mattress, she will leave used sanitary towels on her bedroom floor, today she cut her the hair off all her dolls and chucked it straight onto the floor, that sort of thing.
What is almost worse is that she seems completely unable to remember any reminder/instruction. I tell her every single time before she gets in the shower to hang the towels up afterwards but not once has she ever remembered. As for the sanitary towels, OMG. She started her periods about 6 months ago and every single time she needs to change I still have to remind her what to do ("take the old one off, wrap it up and put it in the bin, put a new one on" etc.) but she still can't remember. She will take one off, often leave it on the bathroom floor and then wander around without a new one on, only to be noticed by me when she's leaked all over her clothes and whatever she is sitting on. I really lost it just now when I'd asked her FIVE times to put an apple core in the bin and it was still where she left it.
I have tried EVERYTHING I can think of and absolutely nothing works. I've tried calmly talking to her about it, fining her, bribing her, punishing her, giving her a reward to work to, I've tried tidying her room myself so that I am less stressed... I Probably the most successful tactic so far was trying to ignore it and I was doing ok with ignoring her room but it's when she leaves the rest of the house in a state that I can't cope with it.
Btw, she is NT and school haven't flagged up any problems. So WTF do I do about her? I am presuming that not living like a pig has to be a learned skill and she won't just grow out of it?