my 4 year old is weeing at school!

[Jane53]

help needed! my 4 year old is weeing at school (and is nearly 5)she hasen't really cracked the potty training ever but has gone 7 day before without weeing - we haven't even started on the night yet! We've tried everything from sticker charts to ignoring it to cleaning her own wet clothes to doctors appointments. I'm really antious as she's in school. She's so confident and intellegent and I don't want her to get bullied because of it.

any ideas?

She obviously hasn't been in school for very long.
If you're over anxious, then she'll feel this from you.
Don't worry about bedtime yet, as she needs to do daytime first.
Put spare clothes and knickers in her bag so it can be dealt with quickly and without too much fuss.
Just make sure her teacher is aware.
Teachers are used to this sort of thing, so don't worry about it.
Could you spend any time helping in her class?
The reason i ask is because i did this for my son.
He was scared to ask to go to the toilet and kept having accidents!!!
As a parent, you know the signs when they need the toilet, but a teacher has to atch around 30 kids and teach, so may not recognise the signs.
Might be worth a go, and kids really do love their parents being a helper for a few hours now and again.

thank you for your help. She hasn't been in school long but this has been going on for the last 2 years though nursery. I'd love to help out in school but I work full time so can't. It's not that she's frighted to ask she's just to busy. Another reason I think is that she wants to wear a school grey dress/or summer dress and not the airtex&grey skirt I bought her - the school spare clothes are dresses mostly. She likes to change clothes - I think she gets board easyly! She used to do this at nursery wet so she could wear something different! any thoughts?

If you really believe the dress is an issue, could you get a cheap dress whilst she gets over those first early days, until more settled?

Also, make sure the teacher is aware. She may then be able to go and gently remind your DD to go to the toilet at various times - like before breaks and lunch.

My sister found some school drsses in asda for only £1.75 think it will be worth you buying some.
The grey dresses start at around £3.50 i think.
If that is the problem then it won't take too long to resolve!!!!!!!!! Hopefully!!!!!!!

thanks all for your help. I'd like to just buy more dresses but I worry that that sends out the wrong message, she wees herself and then gets loads of dresses - what happends when she goes through a another phase? My partner thinks i should send her to school in a nappy - what do you think?

I'd have a chat with her teacher. The school must have encountered this problem before and may be able to advise you on what worked best in the past, plus they will then be aware and as hulababy says can keep an eye on her.

DON'T send her to school in a nappy as your partner suggested!

As far as I'm aware this is much more common than you might think (see stats in Dr Christopher Green's book Toddler Taming). My friend's little girl is 6 and still wets herself in the day at school. She has been on medication for a year to expand her bladder. Has that been suggested/tried yet? I know it does have side effects though. Sending her to school in a nappy would be a really bad idea and I'm sure no-one would recommend that. Good luck anyway. As you'll see from my post I'm not doing too well with my 2.8 year old!

thanks everyone.

She is now 5 and I'm going to go back to the doctors - it's now 3/4 a day!

But if you do come up with a miricle cure - please tell me!

Give my luck to your friend, petitfilou - tell me when she's sorted so i have something to aim for!!!

thanks all!

My DD is the same! She's been dry since the age of 2.5 and last week she wet herself at school 4 times! She's too scared to tell me or the teachers so she doesn't say anything and she smells!!! ARGH!