8yr old DD tantrum about clothes

[Lagoonablue]

DD is developing her own taste in clothes, fine. We can usually find a compromise over what I think is ok and she will wear.

However my DMs recently bought her some perfectly nice jeans which she hates for some reason and refuses to wear. We haven't got the money to buy her lots of clothes so she needs to wear them. She has a real screaming tantrum about them. I feel I shouldn't be dictated to by an 8 yr old so told her I accepted she wouldn't wear them on a special trip out or whatever but she had to wear them around the house, trip to shops, park etc. if she continues to refuse to wear them told I would confiscate her favourite leggings.

Do I send unreasonable? Worst thing is her 4 yr old brother is starting to refuse to wear certain things too!

At eight and throwing a tantrum I would come down hard. Tantrums are for toddlers not juniors at primary school.

Do you let her choose her clothes when she needs new? Means less battles and most like to pick their own.

DC can get by on just 2-3 pairs of trousers including any jeans. Do you really need for her to wear that pair of jeans? Aren't there better battles to pick?

I usually let her pick stuff within reason. It's just the occasional item my DM picks her for her in sales erc. Perfectly reasonable clothing, nothing square, babyish or outrageous. Serviceable for every day.

Is there any reason she won't wear them, they're not comfortable, itchy labels, etc. or has she just taken a dislike to them?

If it's just one pair of jeans, I'd probably just let it go personally. But if it's lots of things it's worth getting to the bottom of.

I am genuinely not trying to be sarky in asking this, am trying to say it's a question you need to sort for yourself and more importantly you need to explain to your DD so that she feels like there's some sense in things:

When will she be able to reject a pair of jeans she didn't choose? When can she "dictate"? When she's 16, 12, 10? Will the criteria be her age or something more like when you can afford it?

Don't be surprised if any plan backfires. Maybe you'll tell your DD "When you're 12" So then your DD could insist on many long conversations with granny about the items she prefers, which could end up looking rather materialistic & grabby, but it's just your DD trying to explain what she likes since she's stuck with whatever Granny chooses. And What's your answer when your DD asks "Will why doesn't granny shop for you too, Mummy, in the sales? Would you wear whatever Granny chose for you?"

Perhaps the jeans are uncomfortable? I think that unless jeans are a good fit then they can be awful to wear. Maybe she prefers leggings. I've always been quite laid back about what my children wear which is just as well given that my oldest went through a phase of wearing party dresses and wellies even when the sun was shining

If she's used to leggings jeans will most certainly feel restricting and uncomfortable.
Perhaps suggest 'wearing them in' so she wears them around the house one morning then gets changed? Again and again until she gets used to them.
We had similar with Dnephew as he was only used to track suit bottoms and hated jeans when he got a pair aged 8/9.

Thanks for replies. I just hate to see perfectly decent clothes not being worn. Plus not happy that the 4 yr old now copying the behaviour.

I will tell my DM not to buy anything else I think.

One of the worst things about childhood was having to wear the stuff that kind people bought for me that I hated. Don't insist and tell your relatives nicely not to buy stuff any more. You will save a lot of heartache all round.

I know exactly what you mean op. Dd has lots of lovely yet comfy clothes her granny bought her... Refuses to wear.
I think that little girls like autonomy in what they wear so let it go I reckon :-(

I'm so glad I came across this topic, i'm having the same problem with my 9yr old. She loves leggings and shorts, but nothing else. She pestered me for a skirt, I bought one for her and now she won't wear it!! I don't have loads of money to spend on clothes either and can't afford for her not to wear things. My son on the other hand is great, he will wear anything.

I'm so glad I came across this topic, i'm having the same problem with my 9yr old. She loves leggings and shorts, but nothing else. She pestered me for a skirt, I bought one for her and now she won't wear it!! I don't have loads of money to spend on clothes either and can't afford for her not to wear things. My son on the other hand is great, he will wear anything.

lagoon I would try and take the sting out of the situation by calmly asking her to explain why she won't wear them. she may not like them or they may chafe or just not feel nice - some proper non stretch jeans can be really stiff amd uncomfortable until worn in ime.

if it is that she doesn't like them could you helper customise them with an iron patch or some glue/sew on being?

I have an 8 yo dsd and I do feel your pain with the refusal to wear age appropriate clothing - she has older step sisters who wear skimpy outfits so trying to get her to understand that as teenagers they cam wear stuff like that but she is still a child.

I highly recommend h&m and sainsbury for clothing that are trendy but age appropriate

My dd wont wear jeans because they are uncomfortable. We also have meltdowns regularly over clothes that were fine the last time she wore them but now are u comfortable. Anyone would think we were asking her to wear a straight jacket. I actually find dressing dd really stressful.