Raising boys 3 yrs up!

[merrilywego]

I'm looking for any advice, tips, general wisdom and pearls of experience please .

I'm a soon to be single parent to my lovely DS who's aged 3. He's my only one, and as I'm 42, I can't see myself having any more so basically it's going to be me and him for most of the time, and I want to do a good job of it. He's very tall for his age, strong, sporty-ish and very sociable, whereas I'm not remotely sporty (and am quite happy pottering on my ownsome, plus am really not a hobbies kind of person) so I'm aware I've got to get out of my comfort zone a little! We live in a city so pursuits at the moment tend to be pretty sedate eg: trips to the library, cafe, walks through the park, but as he gets older, I want to rough it up a bit!

Can anyone tell me what they do with their DC that works really well? I know it obviously depends on the child, but I just want to get a feel for stuff as I really haven't got a clue . He starts school next September so I don't want to book him into loads of things, but are there school clubs or activities bang on for this age group? Scouts? Does this still exist? Judo? Dance?

Sorry if it's too vague - don't know what I'm looking for really, but ideas and pointers going forward about bringing up boys generally would be great x

will he be doing his free hours at nursery/pre-school?

My advice would be to let him follow his interests and talents, which are unlikely to be yours.

Our 10 yo DS is very good at sports, especially football. DH and I have no interest in it at all, but sport is all consuming for him. It makes him so happy, he gets self esteem from it, and learns so much about teamwork, achievement, resilience etc. He needs exercise like oxygen.

He tried lots of stuff when he was little - piano, French, beavers, and wasn't really interested in any of them, until it became apparent that sport was his Thing.

So my advice would be to try out lots of things, and let him follow his own path.

I don't think you need to make him the ultra opposite of you. That will just make life difficult surely?

My boys are 3 and 4. We are a fairly adventurous family but not ultra sporty etc, but do lots.

We swim daily at 6pm- pool few doors down

We cycle - now they can both ride bikes without stabilisers even better, before just in kids trailer ( and use still for long days). Sometimes we just cycle somewhere, meet friends, have picnic, read etc then come home hours later

They enjoy woods/ parkland - we live in London so have large parks around but train to woods, they play poo sticks, find bugs and climb trees

Think of what you like and how to incorporate him rather than the other way around as then you both enjoy activities daily.
You say you Like to read, can you go somewhere where he can climb fallen down trees, and dig for bugs and you can read on picnic rug a while, then join him, then him join you with children's books?

National trust places are good, a membership well worth it. You can both enjoy going around the castles/ attractions and many have large open spaces so he can explore after and burn energy, and cake is usually good!

I figure that you have 20 ish years of them at home, it's easier to enjoy if you aren't the one running about only after him, but that you both learn to enjoy similar things to an extent

Activity wise I hope to introduce mine to rock climbing when a bit bigger and they have had two seasons of skiing which they seem to like and dh and I have enjoyed for years

Thanks everyone. Some useful advice, and a bit reassuring too - maybe I'm overthinking things a bit. Ilovepowerhoop, yes he'll be going to pre school but I'm moving to a new location before he starts school so that will be new too, which of course is a whole different set of worries....

Taffeta, yes that's my idea too, to try out lots of different things and see what he likes or leans towards.. am secretly hoping it won't be football as that seems to mean cheering on the side every saturday morning but we'll see. Good tip about the National Trust Art, I've let my membership lapse but NT places are great for picnics and exploring so perhaps I'll revisit this for next summer. Am excited about the idea of doing new things and having a reason to try new things I wouldn't normally do. Hopefully his school will offer a selection of clubs and activities that will spark interest too.

Having 2 boys, so only limited experience, I would say:

• try things out, do lots of sports if he likes that, but let him decide what sort of person he us:sporty/arty/bookish/geeky, embrace him fir what he is without smothering

Boys are fab, you will have masses of cuddles for at least another 8 years! (Don't know after that simply as my oldest only 11, still vvvvvv cuddly!)

Just enjoy it really :)

As my name suggests I have four boys (Toddler to twenty year old). What I will say is each have very different interests.

Son 1: Computers and gagets plus exploring new places

Son 2: Football, chess, mountain biking, cooking and going to cinerma

Son 3: Musical theatre group, gymnastics, books and scouts

Son 4: Is the toddler so unsure yet but football and comedy I think

You see they are different from each other and not all their interests are what people think as boyish. Just go with the flow and find clubs as / when he shows an interest. Take his lead on stuff to do. Child number three wanted a day sight seeing in London and trip to theatre for his summer holiday treat this year. You don't just have to dig holes or climb trees.