How to deal with painfully slow eater?

[ShadyMyLady]

Dd1 is 9 and has always been a slow eater. It's got to the point now where it's unbearable.

45 minutes to eat two slices of toast and just now 50 minutes to eat two weetabix. It really is excessive. She's not a fussy eater and likes and will eat literally anything.

On the odd occasion she'll eat fine and will take 15 minutes to eat.

When she was 7 she had a timer, 20 minutes to eat a meal then it gets taken away and if it's not finished then nothing until the next meal. If she finishes in that time then praise and she can have a snack later on if she wishes.

I say it took her 50 minutes to eat two weetabix, she didn't even finish it. I got so annoyed I took it off her and she cried because she wanted to eat it. What a mess.

What do I do? It's becoming a real problem now and I don't know what to do.

Dd2 is a handful as it is (being assessed for asd) but eats at a normal pace.

Ds is only 16m and polishes off his food no problem.

The timer worked well but thought it only a temporary measure, it did get her eating quicker but she's now back to her old ways.

I also do worry about her weight. She does actually eat a lot but she's tiny. I've just bought her school uniform and the age 7 skirt falls down.

I'm at a loss now.

Thanks magic. The nibbling isn't a new thing, she's alway been a nibbler!

The pain is still there, bent over double and we can't really go anywhere as she can't stand up for long periods.

I don't really know what to do.

Oh fuck I just snapped . Why why why? I gave her 20 mins to eat half a sandwich, she took the smallest nibble ever, in fact I don't think she even bit any off and I just snapped.

She just ran upstairs screaming she hates me, slammed her door and that was that . What have I done?

Oh she's just come and taken her plate and is sitting on the hall floor eating.

I'm so fucking angry with myself.

How does she manage at school with her lunches?

I could see this becoming a problem at secondary school if, like my own DS's school, there's only about 10 min to bolt some lunch down by the time you've got into the lunchroom - but is there any problem at home in just leaving her to it, to eat at her own glacial pace? Most of us eat far too quickly, so at least she doesn't have that.

She generally manages ok at school, I think maybe seeing her peers eating at a normal pace helps. Her lunch isn't huge though; sandwich, 2 pieces fruit, yoghurt, lump of cheese and water or weak squash.

No there's no problem with leaving her to it sometimes but a lot of the time we have to be somewhere after so it's not practical to leave her to eat at her own pace.

I apologised to her and she ate her sandwich in under 10 minutes which must be a record.

Keep an eye on her weight and height and ask the GP where she is on the percentile charts for her age..If she isn't eating much, she could have slipped into undereating due to low weight. Best way to counteract that is high calorie food, so every mouthful she does have is giving her plenty of energy.

shady the current stomach pain is obviously the priority, I hope it gets sorted soon.

about the slow eating, we have the same with our 6yo son. We have found a solution: computer games. He loves them, specially minecraft. We don't want him playing games all day and we did want him to eat at a normal speed.

So now if he finishes his food within 5 mins of the grown-ups finishing theirs, he's earned 30 mins on minecraft. We also made sure he was reasonably hungry by a no-snacking rule in between meals.

(on top of that, once the 30 mins are up, if he closes it down without arguing he's earned the right to it tomorrow, as long as he eats at a reasonable speed. If he whines or gets upset, he can't have it tomorrow; he can whine for Europe, that boy).

Is there anything you daughter really loves that she can't usually have that you could use as a carrot in the same way?

It does sound really tough, don't beat yourself up for snapping. It's good for children to realise you're human too! I remember my mum telling me that she took me to the Dr's because I ate so little and so slowly, and she was just told 'she'll eat if she's hungry'. Not particularly helpful! Keep an eye on her weight and carry on offering incentives to finish a meal within a certain length of time. I hope you get to the bottom of the stomach pains.