Would appreciate your thoughts on this.
Some background. Our daughter is 19 months old and I'm about four weeks off my due date for number 2. I have a sister and two SILs, all of whom are very wonderful aunties. When our daughter was little I asked all three aunties to be godparents - I couldn't conceive of not asking my own sister (I'm godmother to my nephew), but then couldn't imagine not also asking my SIL x2, thought they would be hurt. So asked them all. They are unmarried. My sister is married and has been for fifteen years, I have always been very, very close to my BIL and thought he would be desperately hurt if I didn't ask him too. So I did, so sister, BIL and x2 SIL all lined up to be godparents.
Then my BIL lost the plot, had an affair, became abusive to my sister, told her he wanted a divorce. devastated her, has been carnage. He has agreed to stay, they are together, but probably not for long, and its just not a good situation. I can't forgive him and can't conceive of him being godparent to my daughter. Because this was all happening - and my sister was too fragile for me to go charging in and tell him he wasn't going to be godfather - we just kind of put off the christening and put it off, and put it off, and I got increasingly worried about the whole thing.
Now I'm about to have baby no 2. Can we reasonably have a joint christening? is that okay? and can we have the same godparents - all the aunties? I have told my sister there is no way he is going to be godfather - even if they stay together, I can't look at him in church knowing the way he has treated her.
I guess my question is how much have I messed up here? Is it awful to do a joint christening with joint godparents? I could ask other people for number 2 but would feel odd - all family for our daughter, all friends for no 2. also our family are kind of the only option as the priest says godparents need to be catholic - we don't have any catholic friends!
I feel really upset at how I've messed this up - any advice would be great.