I dont like being a Mum

[Doodlekitty]

I have a 20 month old DS, and I adore him. But I hate being a Mum. I think I'd quite like to be a dad.

Im still bfing aand for the last 3 weeks my options have been to spend till 10 feeding him to sleep or listen to him scream for hours while dad tries to settle him.

Ive had no time to myself for weeks and by the time hes asleep I have to go to bed as im shattered.

I was off work for 3 days as I was ill. But everything continued as it was despite me pointing this out. Dh does everything I ask but im so sick of asking when im expected to just know.

I want my life back, or at least a fraction of it

Hi. I did not like being a mum until I was getting full nights or mostly full nights sleep. they never really come back 100%. It is really draining and also difficult to make changes to your life/routines when you are so tired. Everything feels so overwhelming. I had to keep telling myself...and this to shall pass.

If you can find the energy, it may be worth looking at your daily routines.

What changed 3 weeks ago that he started to do this or has this been an ongoing thing? This may help in then coming up with a plan.

Is it time to stop BFing? I understand wanting to go on as long as poss but when it starts making you feel controlled and trapped it might be time for you change?

Also I felt better when I stopped trying to be super efficient wonder mum knows all. If DH asks say 'how should I know? do what you think best'

It will get better - promise

I too find being a mum isn't as enjoyable as I had thought it would be. Its hard to say that when I have friends who are desperate to be mums. I've had post natal depression after both of my babies, my relationship with my husband has really suffered and I regularly feel frustrated, irritable and unhappy. I'm waiting for counselling at the moment.

With regard to your little one not settling, have you tried a dummy? I know its late to start, they aren't very pretty and there's the worry they'll never give them up but they really worked for my babies. My DD now 4 has just happily given hers up. My DS aged 21 months still has his. They have only ever had them for sleep and they work a treat for soothing them and letting them know its sleep time.

Whatever you choose to do, stick with it. I think consistency is key. Sorry I can't offer more help or advice. I feel for you x

I agree with MissFenella that you may feel you have a little bit of yourself/control back if you move on from the breastfeeding. Obviously it is completely a personal choice but I found that once I stopped I felt I had my body back a bit more and I felt more 'like me' if that makes sense?

Hiya - I stopped BFing when mine was 20 months and it really put an end to a lot of my miseries. There is nothing worse than comfort feeding a toddler (in my opinion). Wean onto cows with sippy cup. Just tell DC that he's drunk all mummy's milk and is a big boy now. I actually found mine was being really silly around bf and making it quite unpleasant around this age, and was ready to wean.

Honestly, how you're feeling is how I have felt at quite a few points throughout my parenting journey. I'm pretty strict and organized with a dry sense of humor and my husband is lighthearted and creative so the kids always seemed to have a slight preference for him. Just know that it does get easier once school starts, and much easier once they start making friends that they spend time with outside of school or the home. Be warned though, you'll spend a fair deal of time worrying about them after that if you're anything like me