Living in a nicer area v's more time with Dad

[greeneone12]

Hello All

Just looking for some opinions on this really. We have the opportunity to move into a nicer, rural area into a 3 bed new build house. We currently live with my Dad in a 4 bed house with our newborn and 3 yr old.

Currently my DP leaves home at 7.45am and gets home at 6pm. If we move he will leave home at 7.30am and get home at 7pm.

He is happy to do whatever it takes to have our own home but I just wonder if we are better staying put and him get more time with the kids.

If anyone has had to make a similar decision I would be really interested to hear your thoughts. We can of course stay with my Dad but we would have to save for somewhere for years, start my little girl at a school and then move her down the line.

If we do move now then we can get a home and stay there for the forseeable - but DP will see the children much less.

Thanks!

Sorry the train would get to the station at 7pm - so he would get home about 7.15pm.

If he's happy to do what it takes then I think it sounds like he really wants a family home, just the 4 of you. And I have to say that I can understand that. He's the one who will spend (slightly) less time with your dc so if he's happy with that then perhaps it's a small sacrifice for your own home? Unless you're concerned about being on your own with the dc, without your dad's help? I personally wouldn't want to change ds's school once he had already settled.

Thank you. It really worries me having to move my daughter once she is settled and if we stay and save we won't be moving for a good 4 years. I just worry about coping as all homework, meals etc will all fall on me Mon-Fri. DP could probably help with bedtime but that would be as soon as he walked in the door, tired from a days work. His hours are not flexible either.

Dad is not around much either so he doesn't help alot - but I do know that when DP walsk through the door at 6pm I always feel relieved to have extra help. An extra hour and half on my own might really feel alot more stressful!

I understand that. Perhaps you could take more of a back seat at weekends and have some 'me time' then? This would give your dh some quality time with your dc at weekends and give you a few hours to yourself (when you're not having family time together).

I was going to come on and say Dad time is most valuable, but actually he already spends a long time away, I expect that he is leaving at breakfast and is only back home for bath/bed time if they are small. When they are getting bigger he will see them anyway.

I think if he is ready for the move then do it - especially if it gives you the chance to be in your own house - and agree with the previous poster that he should for example be prepared to be doing some full on fun activities at the weekend and the evening story to compensate.

On the other hand if you will end up having a significantly harder time that in itself is enough of a reason to look for another solution, eg. wait until a house closer to where you already live come up. You shouldn´t need to find additional reasons to justify not wanting to move!