Lack of interest from grandparents

[moomin35]

Just wondered if anyone has experienced this or do you think your mother favours your siblings children over yours?

I think it must be very hard to treat all grandchildren exactly the same - I am sure my sibling feels that my DC are 'favoured' over their's. However we live a lot nearer, make a huge effort to involve my parents in our children's lives. My DPs are very good at offering to take grandchildren out, special treats etc but if something 'better' comes up at the last minute my sibling has no problem in cancelling my DPs which they find very thoughtless rude - whereas I would honour any arrangement my parents have been kind enough to make.

Equally my MIL was able to spend a lot more time (and energy) with my SIL's children, they lived near to each other, she childminded my nephew and neice so that SIL could go to work - by the time DH and I had children she was much older and in poor health so couldn't do as much for ours - however I don't think she 'favoured' the other grandchildren - just that circumstances can be different.

Sorry, totally wooly answer .

Another point is that sometimes your children might have interests ie: sport/dance/acting etc which grandparents are totally 'into' and therefore want to spend time with grandchildren ....... if their interests are totally different it can be hard to fake interest (think child modelling ).

My husband and I emigrated in our early 20s and have married and had DC in our new country of residence. We supported FIL and his wife in their residency application and were really excited that DC would have some GPs in the same country. Since they've arrived there has been little to no interest (we have seen them twice in 16 months, despite our best efforts) which makes me sad for them as I know our other parents overseas would love the opportunity to see DC/us regularly. I try not to let it bother me as the DC don't know any different, but I have wonderfully fond memories of the time I spent with my own GPs growing up so it makes me a bit sad to think they're missing out on that relationship. What's your experience of GP interest?

there was a brilliant article in The Spectator a few months ago about how many middle class grandparents aren't interested in the grandchildren because they are too busy with their own lives. DH suggested leaving open when our parents cam to visit.

I think in our case it's an age thing. As they've got older they've got less energy. With (young) dc1 they were quite OTT, very fun-time fun-time and it was exhausting Completely different with dc3 and I don't imagine they'll ever have the same bond as a result. My response has been to barely talk about them and what they're up to and not "big-up" that we'll be seeing them whenever so as not to lead to disappointment on dcs' part.

There's no obligation on GPs to involve themselves in some or all of their GCs lives. They shouldn't be guilt tripped into it.

But they shouldn't be surprised if they become a lesser part of their own children's lives as a consequence. Which may or may not bother them.

My dh parents live about 40mins away and when ds was born nearly 4 years ago mil said to son with us in mind now your not allowed in this house until you are at least 8 as you will wreck my house needless to say we haven't bern back, my fil on the other hand is great now I'm pregnant with dd my mil is so excited I'm due a c section in 9 days and she is insiting that she's at the hospital on the day this is the first girl born into the family for yearz , apparently I trapped her son 4 years ago when I got pregnant (it was a mutual decision) and tbh I'm shocked at her attitude!