How does your child greet you at nursery?

[JellyBeansHaveNoAgeLimit]

I swear each new stage with DS makes me more neurotic!

My 20mo has now been at nursery 2 weeks and seems to love it. He is very well behaved, eats his meals & is showing interest in the other children which is obviously great

However when I drop him off in the morning he doesn't seem bothered in the slightest that I am leaving him & when I return to pick him up in the afternoon he doesn't always come to me right away. 2 times out of 4 he has come over to me & given me a hug, the other 2 times he has just ignored me until I went & picked him up, then he just seemed more interested in going back to the toys.

I did psychology at A-Level and from what I remember the ambivalence he is showing towards me upon my return means he doesn't have a secure attachment to me

I realise this sounds completely nutty and I am probably just being a paranoid FTM but I can't stop it niggling away at my brain!

How does your child greet you and do you think my DS's attachment is OK?

My 20 month old goes to crèche for a few hours each morning. Normally he wanders off when we get there, if he is tired he may cling to my legs. When I pick up he is either staring at the television and I have to stick my face in his to get a reaction, or he runs over to me for a cuddle.

Personally I would be far happier that my child was content to be left than I would if they were hysterically clinging to me. Equally if he threw himself at me at every pick up I would think he hadn't enjoyed himself.

OP are there any other reasons you feel as though your son hasn't got a secure attachment to you?

Yesterday dd aged 2.6 went into nursery as her friends were sitting down for breakfast and turned to me just tosay "bye bye mummy. Go away."

She's just been toilet trained so usually greets me with "Mummy! I done really big poo!"...

Usually in the mornings she and ds would wander off and start playing - which I always saw as a reassuring sign that they were both comfortable there and that I would come back.

Dd is more enthusiastic about me in the evenings and interested in people generally, wanting to know if ds or Daddy will be home. Ds usually wanted to show me a thing and then refuse to leave and scream all the way home he wanted to stay at nursery. Until morning when he wanted to stay home.

Gosh Ragwort, what a weird thing to say.

My son used to cry every time I dropped him off and every time I picked him up but I gritted my teeth and got on with it. Still doesn't mean I didn't have a very heavy heart most days, nor that I couldn't sympathise with other parents who felt the same.

These days dd (2.3) comes over for a hug and shows me what/who she's been playing with etc.
She went through a phase at around 18 months of running away when I came to collect her. I had to run around the room trying to catch her and she'd usually hide giggling under a table. The staff thought it was hilarious. I had to pretend to leave so she'd come out looking for me.

DD, 17mo, says "Mummmeeeee!!!", runs forward with her arms outstretched like a little zombie and clamps herself to my leg. It's lovely

Up until the past week or so she would cry when I dropped her off, unless her favourite key worker was there. I used to hate it. However she seems to be much happier since upping her days from 1 day per week to 3.

I am definitely grateful he hasn't been in floods of tears when I leave him, I would feel terribly guilty if that were the case. I guess I was just expecting at least a few tears the first day!

sebsmummy, like I said above I have issues with my own mother and think I look for any little signs that history will repeat itself. Just need a bit more confidence in myself I think.

Definitely helps hearing how other children react, I haven't been there when any of the other kids get picked up from DS's nursery yet.