School Detention - further sanctions?

[curiosity]

DS1 got a detention for a fairly minor childish prank at school. (DH spoke to form tutor about something else and he mentioned it and was laughing about it, so nothing serious).

No problem with the action of the school, but because of it, couldn't catch the schoolbus home and I had to collect him, which not only disrupted my plans, but also that of his brothers.

So, my question is: should DS suffer a further sanction because of the disruption he has caused to everybody, or is the detention punishment enough?

If it wasn't a serious matter, I'd let it go TBH. It isn't your DS1's fault that there wasn't a later bus going in your direction!

There is only one schoolbus, so he knows that if he does anything that warrants detention he will miss the bus, therefore relying on me or DH to collect him. (thankfully not something that occurs often ).

i always think if it happens at school-school punish at home I do
he has had one punishment not his fault about the bus. I would just give atelling off

Yes I would agree with school punish at school, parents at home generally, but he is aware of the problems it causes if he gets a detention (like I say, quite rare thus far).

Although annoyed (and he knows!!), the disruption to my plans aren't an issue (I have children, I EXPECT disruption, lol) but I had to cancel one of his brother's playdates because I had to fetch him.

This is why I'm posing the question, as the punishment at school (and he is aware of the effects it has) affected his brother.

i would get him to apologise/do something nice for/with his brother, but not a punishment type thing, just a making it up to him thing, that hopefully they would both enjoy

Is there no public transport where you live? Surely this is going to be a massive pain in the arse as he gets older and, potentially, naughtier? it can't help but interfere with the sound principle that others have mentioned that school punishes school misdeeds and home home ones? And what about after school clubs? Are there none or do you have to pick up after those too? Sounds like they need an additional later school bus run if there is no other form of transport. Or maybe ds could get a bike?

Good idea Mazzystar.

Scummymummy, yes there is public transport, but it's not something we've explored with him yet as it would be two buses (and at short notice we don't have timetables etc).

It isn't usually a problem (rare so far, and we're hoping it stays that way lol) as both DH and I work in the same direction as his school so one or other of us can usually collect on our way home if need be. We do also have to pick up following after-school clubs. (He did one last year, but as it was pre-planned it was never an issue).

IMO it does interfere with the sound principle that others have mentioned that school punishes school misdeeds and home home ones when it affects his brothers' activities.

An additional later school bus run is a great idea in principle but can't see the local council funding that.

DS has a bike, but at this moment it is too far to expect him to cycle to school (one has to be practical about timescales, even though it's a good idea).

Thanks for your thoughts.

I would make him be nice to his bro as penance if he wouldn't be anyway. I really mentioned the transport thing because tbh I was wondering if it might be worth encouraging him to carry a bus timetable and learn the routes home just for the sake of his independence. i would have hated to be reliant on lifts from my folks at his age, particularly when i'd had a bad day and it would put them out and thereby make their day bad and mine even worse! However, i don't have kids that age and maybe things have changed greatly? I know that I was walking to school alone at 7 for example and i'm not yet letting my 7 year olds do that. Hope he's suitably contrite for putting you out anyway.

if our school gives an 'afterschool' detention for whatever reason, we do call home to see if it's ok to do that day ( thinking of transport reasons only) if not, it's done on the following day.

He is suitably contrite - he bought me a bar of chocolate! Well it impressed DH anyway.

I think, at just 12, it's one step too far for him to be reliant on public transport. I'm not saying he couldn't do it(he's actually very self-sufficient) but it's just not on yet as far as we're concerned. Maybe I will get some timetables for future reference as I don't plan on running around after him for evermore, although of course that then costs ME more money, lol.

I do like the idea of him having to spend some time with his brother and doing something nice for him, it's so uncool at 12 to have to do that, hehe.

Hana, his school issue them for the following day, and to be fair to the school, if you discuss the situation with them, they will change the evening (the punishment is for the child, but the majority of children travel to the school, therefore the punishment inconveniences the parents too iykwim).

I did consider getting it delayed to Monday, but it was just simpler to get the matter over and done with last night.

Of course, it helps if the child actually tells the parents about the detention.

DS's "partner in crime" didn't tell his parents and he had to walk home (several miles in the opposite direction).

curiosity know how you feel about busses
ds(14) gets the bus in but I always pick him up as he won't get the school bus(have you seen how they cram them on them) so get 2 home would take an hour and a half

That's about right. It just not doable when you've got other children/commitments is it?

Not had much chance to talk to DS1 tonight due to commitments with the younger two, but he mentioned something about the new law about seatbelts, so something must have been said on the bus. Must ask him tomorrow, although there's no problem with overcrowding on his particular bus.

He had to help his brother with his homework last week (and I know just how frustrating that can be, lol).

Have to say he did it with good grace for the most part.