I don't normally do punishments....

[LynetteScavo]

So it feels a bit weird.

Yesterday 9yo DD cut her own hair (My DC are well aware they are not allowed to cut their own hair!). It's on the underneath only, so you can't see it unless her hair is tied up. She's generally being a bit rude recently and her response was "Well, it's not my fault if you don't like it".

I went back in to her bedroom last night to give her a last kiss, and she was chewing HubbaBubba. She knows not to eat anything after she's brushed her teeth. She claims she found a packet on street, but I suspect a girl who lives in our cul-de-sac gave it to her.

So I told DD she can't go to a fireworks display with friends (nothing had been firmed with friends, I'd told them I would confirm, but DD doesn't know that).

My DC are normally reasonably well behaved, and if they aren't I explain what they have done wrong rant at them. DH and I are pretty strict and there are consequences or example, if DC don't come home on time, they aren't allowed out so late next time. But I feel this is more of a punishment then a consequence.

Just wondering what other people would have done...

Yanbu. Nip it in the bud.

I think it's a bit harsh really (my DD2 is 9)

Hair - if it look stupid then she has to live with it. If it doesn't then no harm done. DD2 recently cut a small amount of her hair off: She is just starting to have it longer and she keep chewing it, so she thought if she cut it off she wouldn't keep putting it in her mouth. I told her it was a foolish thing to do and if she wants it cut we'll go to the hairdresser. end of.

Chewing gum after brushing teeth - my reaction would be: oh no, if you can't be trusted to brush properly we're going to have to cut out all the sweet stuff until I can trust you again (e.g. 1 day, increasing for a second offence)

otoh The rudeness is not good. I would be tempted to re-instate the fireworks, saying you think you were a bit hasty, but that you can't possibly take her if you are worried she is going to be rude to you/friends so you expect politeness from now on otherwise you will reconsider.

Totally irrelevant but just wondering where you live that you could have fireworks in August?

I'm in the uk, but fireworks were some sort of firework competition.

Punishments, sanctions and consequences (they are all the same thing really) should be relevant and logical. Therefore in those situations, I would have done the following -

Cut hair would have meant a trip to the hairdressers immediately to tidy it up (paid for out of her pocket money). Warn her that if she were to do it again, she would have to pay for three hair cuts, or something to that effect.

Chewing Gum in bed would mean lights out as soon as she goes to bed because she cannot be trusted to be awake at night in her room alone.

Remember you can always say that you will think about what the consequence will be and that you will inform her later. That avoids rash decisions that you may regret.

I would explain that she can earn back the right to go to the fireworks.