ds is driving me round the bend

[slightlyinsane]

My ds is 4 and up until recently has been hardwork but manageable. Then the twins arrived and the school hols began soon after meaning my 2 dds were at home too. His behavior has gradually been getting worse when he doesn't get his own way, it started off with moaning swiftly turning into fake crying, him calling me nasty and a pain in the bum. This wk he's moved onto hitting, flicking or trying to kick me when I say no to something.

Ive just been hit in the face because I said no to going to the park in the pouring rain.

Please someone tell me this phase will pass soon, I'd like to enjoy the last couple of wks of the summer hols.

It's not a phase either of mine went through, neither of them would have hit me. There would have been massive consequences.

for hitting/ kicking we did time in ( they sit on a chair on the same room as you but have to be quiet). the first few had to be held until they calmed down, and now they accept the punishment most of the time

now they just hit/ fight each other

if anyone knows how to stop 5 year old twin boys from fighting please let me know

the book what every parent needs to know we are still finding helpful for dealing with behavior

We do time out and he begrudgingly does it and understands why and is nice as pie for a while after. Then his sister's won't want to do something and he starts all over again.
I understand why his behavior has changed as he lost daily 1 on 1 time due to twins then summer hols and his routine was completely lost, it just doesn't make it any easier to have to deal with daily.

We do time out and he begrudgingly does it and understands why and is nice as pie for a while after. Then his sister's won't want to do something and he starts all over again.
I understand why his behavior has changed as he lost daily 1 on 1 time due to twins then summer hols and his routine was completely lost, it just doesn't make it any easier to have to deal with daily.

Give him techniques for dealing with conflict. How will he learn otherwise? You will sound like a broken record but it does go in. You can also remind him if he hits e.g. why did you hit? He tells you. You say OK I know it's annoying/whatever but next time do x.

My ds is 4 and this is working albeit slowly.

The violent behaviour is unacceptable but you have a process in place in answer to that so I just wanted to say that it may simply be his age. Both of my boys were horrible between the ages of 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 and then turned quite normal and have been fine ever since. The behaviour of each in turn I really disliked for a whole year.

It will sort itself out if you are consistent and model and talk about the benefits of kindness. I did the broken record of "we don't live in a hitting house" along with praising every moment of kindness to the hilt. Try instituting random acts of kindness in an age appropriate way. Go on a 'kind' hunt together. Find a way you can do something kind for him as part of it and how he can do something kind for you. Maybe you can kindly help him put something's away and he can kindly do his bit at the same time. Then you can both reward yourselves with a story, or an extra five minutes to play in the bath. I never made the things anything I didn't want to happen anyway.

Ok, I know, impossible with twin girls to look after too. Maybe it won't work for you anyway. Just suggesting because it meant that I didn't strangle my little darlings multitudes of times in that pair of impossible years.

Good luck. This too shall pass.

I have a 4 1/2 DS who is starting school this Sept. He is an only so doesn't have to compete for attention but his behaviour is all over the place at the moment after having been better. He's taking things he knows he shouldn't, lying, pushing and shoving us and some days is just a total pain. It seems to be a common phase at this age - all of my DS's similar aged friends are similar.

If timeout is having some effect I'd keep going with it. I would also try and make time for him and noticing when he is being kind and behaving well but I know that will be really hard with everything else you've got going on.

There is a testosterone surge at 4 so on top of all the changes he may well be hormonal and have huge amounts of energy.

My DS1 went from little angel to utter gobeshite when DS2 turned up and he is also 4. He keeps spanking us and whinger/tantrums for nothing and keeps falling out with DD. He gets told off and largely ignored. We hope it is a phase! He did not do the terrible 2s so HV said it would happen at 3-4.