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Hate to say this - my son is not popular - how to help him - Year 2

13 replies

lisalisa · 14/09/2006 22:35

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CristinaTheAstonishing · 14/09/2006 22:38

That sounds very sad. Is he being bullied? How can they not let him join in?

chipkid · 14/09/2006 22:39

have no advice for you but was sad to read this and want to bump for you.

foundintranslation · 14/09/2006 22:42

poor litrle lamb school group dynamics can be horrible. I suffered lots from them.

Might the teacher do a talk/circle time with the whole class (not singling him out by name) on friendships, sharing, including (if not done already)? Could a project be done at school where one of his strengths is played to, involving teamwork?

The main thing - as someone who went through similar - to instil confidence in himself into your ds. Nobody really did this for me and it was horrendous for a few years at school. What's he good at?

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lisalisa · 14/09/2006 22:44

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colditz · 14/09/2006 22:44

what about taking him to cubs, or badgers or something like that, where he will make a broader spectrum of friends? I can feel your heartbreak, I really can. It's like someone is thumping you in the stomach isn't it, when they come home, and you asked them who they played with, and the answer is "Nobody"

DumbledoresGirl · 14/09/2006 22:45

My ds2 was exactly the same as your son in that he was very popular in his old school but completely the opposite at his new school. he is very intelligent, so sometimes a bit serious for them, does not like kids mucking about, has no interest in football and is also quite immature for his age (well, not how I would describe it, necessarily, just not old before his years).

Anyway, he is now in Yr 4 and seems a lot happier. It helps that he has a brother in Year 6 who is immature and they seem to have mutual friends in Yrs 4,5 and 6, but what I think has really helped ds2 is developing an interest in something "cool" even though it isn't the ubiquitous football. Anyway, he has a gameboy and likes Pokemon and suddenly he has found other boys who play computer games and like Pokemon.

I think your son has to find himself an interest - no matter what - and then hopefully he will find someone else who shares it. Have you any idea of anything that would appeal to him that would also appeal to other boys?

mrs2shoeshassaidsorry · 14/09/2006 22:45

oh bless him
ds has alwys had the fooball problem as he hates it.
he joined beavers and that really helped

lisalisa · 14/09/2006 22:46

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lisalisa · 14/09/2006 22:49

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SoMuchToBits · 14/09/2006 22:49

I helped out at ds's school in a class today for the first time (not his class). I noticed that at break time, before they went out to play, the teacher said "Right, who is playing with X today?" A couple of the other boys put their hands up, and the teacher said "Ok, Y and Z you are playing with X"

I didn't ask why, but assume it was a similar situation, where X was new or didn't find it easy to make friends. It seemed to work, anway, so maybe you could suggest an approach like this to your ds's teacher. The class I was in was a year2 class btw.

foundintranslation · 14/09/2006 22:51

he sounds very perceptive - and also .
I suppose putting him back a year would be out of the question (academically)?
Gosh he does sound like me - I never got why anyone would want to be nasty to anyone else for no reason. Just did not understand it. With the result that I always took things to heart very quickly.
It's important that he knows he's still a great person and has strengths even if the current school set-up isn't inclined to accept him.

DumbledoresGirl · 14/09/2006 22:56

Cubs didn't help either of my boys. They have both given up now as I got sick of forcing them to go.

I personally don't think it is a good idea to move schools. How do you know the same problem won't ocur again at a new school? After all, if your son doesn't like football, that seems to be a universal bonding thing between boys. I know it is hard, but stick it out with the same children and I think they will come to accept your son for who he is. Children are generally very accepting of differences.

cowmad · 14/09/2006 23:01

agree with earlier poster beavers is great!!! my boy really loves his time there an he has lots of mates we invite home for tea...
ahhh love im!!
hard innit when people are orrible what eva age...

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