saying goodbye to the baby years,why am I finding it so damn hard?

[christie1]

My youngest is soon 2, my oldest 91/2. Most would say, I should be celebrating the freedome but I find it so sad. any advice from mom's who have been there? I have many wonderful years (even the teen ones) to look forward to, but I feel such a loss I hate every milestone my baby makes because it means she is not a little baby anyore. Sick I know. Any words of hope/advice etc. (and another baby is not in the cards for me age(43), a m/c and a dh who is done with babies). I wish I could feel that way but I don't. Suggestions on how to ease this transition. Don't get me wrong, I love my time with the olders ones but...sigh.... You get hte picture.

Awwwww...got to say...I don't feel like that at all...3 ds's of 10years, almost 4 years and just 2 years...tbh...having a closish agegap between my 2 youngest probably helped to keep me unbroody, as I finally now see the end of the tunnel again and can't wait for say next year when things will just be soooo much easier when we go somewhere, lol...I feel like I had almost 4 years of Baby and am all Babied out now, lol!
Really don't know what to suggest, other then to try and see the positive side of getting your life back
Maybe a new Hobby or something like that would help to get you focussed on other things

thanks,I appreciate your comments. I wish I felt that way. I know I should. It would make it so much easier. Maybe other people don't feel that way so much. Anyway, I am moving on and doing other things but I guess I will feel like I feel for a while. I will look at hte positives for sure. I just was hoping more moms who had been there, done that had some advice to make it easier. Mayve the answer is just get on with things and enjoy my uninteruppted sleep!

I know I will feel that way too (though some of my friends look at me as though I am mad when I start talking about feeling sad about them growing up). I can't imagine not having babies around. I think I will need a puppy just so I have something to 'baby'!

Crayon

It's a grieving period. Allow yourself to grieve, then look forward and enjoy all that is to come. You have wonderful things to look forward to. Her first assembly, her first nativity play etc.

There's no shame in being sad that a stage on ones life is ending. Just don't stay trapped there and look ahead. As I said... there are wonderful things to come.

i have children from 6 months to 14 and i just dread the non baby bit. why are we like this??? I just can't ever imagine feeling through with it all. Maybe we will just turn a corner and feel content???how many children do you have Christie?

I have 5, so I definately have had alot of baby time. I always waited for the time when I would feel done. I just never do. So, nature is taking care of it for me I guess. your right, I do need to grieve it, but also accept it and look ahead. Thanks for your kind advice. I actually felt relief to just admit it, hey, I hate the fact the baby stage is over.

Me too .. DD is 2.5 and I was horribly broody from about 2 weeks old to 20 months

I'll tell you what made the total difference to me though ... DH went from a position of outright no to having another child to saying 'well ok if you want to' .. as soon as there wasn't an external reason for me not to have another baby (ie DH not wanting) I felt less broody

HTH

My youngest is 9 now and I still feel broody sometimes. I was always drawn to babies even as a child. I'm the eldest of 5 and come from a large extended family so there were always new baby cousins about. I loved being pregnant too.
The 'yearning' for another baby of my own as gone...I'm too old.
I still collect DS5 from primary school even though he wants to walk home alone.I'm one of a handfull of older mums who 'coo' over the prams outside the school gate. Sometimes we even get to hold a baby!.....What will we do in two years time when our youngest go to big school.

Christie...maybe working with Baby's would be something for you?
That way you will still deal with lots of Babys, just they won't be your own

I know exactly what you mean! My youngest is 7 now and I find myself looking at baby toys in catalogues wishfully. I even miss the endless Thomas videos and building brio track. No chance of any more - too old plus hysterectomy. We are collecting furry pets however - it helps!

Marslady is so right, I'v erealsied that motherhood is all about loss. We all lose our babies when they turn into toddlers, then pre-schoolers, then they go to school...my eldest started school last week and I am hating it even though I know it is just what she needs. It will be awful when ds starts school in 4 yrs and I am already planning what I will do to fill my time so I have something to look forward to.

thanks everyone. I do think alot about a career change or volunteer work where I could work with little kids, even fostering sometimes (dh would have a fit). I think it is interesting about once dh said ok, you felt less broody. I guess I will feel some loss but there is also much to look forward to. Really, we can't have babies forever and..there's always grandkids!

Funny, I dont feel this way at all about our kids growing up - mine are 6y7m, 4y7m and 2y10m. Now that dd2 is out of napies I am delighted! SHe can talk and express herself and I dont miss the endless feeding and spooning food into little mouths (though I do sometimes miss bf, its been a year now!).
Yesterday we went to the park for a walk and all 3 of them were riding their bikes, swooshing through leaves, picking up conkers and acorns, and it was great - dh and I agreed that them growing up is great fun! We're not having any more, through choice (dh had vasectomy) and are just looking forward to the next bit of it.

I do agree with you, harrisey, that it is wonderful onvce you can start to share what is going on in their heads. I don't think the baby stage is superior to any other...it's just sad to see it go.

I really wonder how I'm going to feel once ds3 isn't a baby anymore, and I do have mixed feelings about every milestone he reaches. It's not that I don't want him to grow up and develop, because there's lots of new things to look forward to, but I know I'm going to miss having a baby. Whenever I meet someone who's pregnant or just had a baby I always feel a twinge of jealousy
I guess there are lots of different phases in our lives, childhood, leaving home, starting work, marriage, kids, empty nest, grandchildren and every time you move into a new one it takes some getting used to.

I loved dd as a baby and I thought I would miss it more but I really don't. Now she is 2.5 I love her talking and walking (and using the toilet!) and I am really looking forward to her going to school, reading and being able to hold conversations!

But then again, for me there is still a chance of having another in the future so that may make it easier!

Harrisey....funny, the bf is the only thing I miss and regrett not ever to do againBeen a year for us now, too...since he weaned off!

I was dreading dd3 going to playgroup then nursery then school knowing it was the last time.
As soon as she was at school full time I decided to find work with children. I worked in a creche with young babies and toddlers, then did casual dinner ladying at a few local primary schools until becoming a full time teaching assistant at a local infant school.
It's lovely working with young children and the longing for the baby days have mainly gone. Although last year it was sad knowing I'd never have one at infant school again and I expect I'll feel the same in 3 years time when she leaves junior school... etc