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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Poo help needed! Friend going potty!

7 replies

Frizbe · 14/09/2006 10:31

Hi all, doing this on behalf of friend, whose ds will not poo on the potty or toilet, he's nearly 3, what advice do you all have?

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Original poster

Frizbe · 14/09/2006 10:36

come on COD where are you!

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WigWamBam · 14/09/2006 10:38

My overriding advice would be for them to relax, not put any pressure on him that might make matters worse, and let him do it in his own time. He is very young, he has plenty of time to get this sussed.

My dd was dry at almost 3, but it took her 15 months to poo in the toilet after she was out of nappies - she was terrified of the whole idea and would become hysterical and scream the place down if we even suggested using the toilet. In fact she would only ever poo in a nappy, always at the same time of day, and always in the same place (nowhere near the toilet!). If we got wound up about it it just made things worse, and we didn't want to end up giving her a complex about pooing.

Allowing her to have a nappy rather than forcing her to use the loo made her more relaxed about things, and prevented the constipation and pain issue. If this little boy knows when he needs a poo maybe your friend would be happy to let him know that he can ask for a nappy for a poo if he wants one.

It helps to see training for wee and for poo as two separate processes - the fact that he is ready to wee in the toilet doesn't automatically mean that he's ready to poo in the toilet. And it's not just a physical thing either; if he isn't emotionally ready then there's no point in forcing it. It only leads to stress for you and for him - and the more stressful things get, the less likely he is to want to use the toilet.

Original poster

Frizbe · 14/09/2006 11:39

Thanks for that WWB, that's the sort of thing I was looking for! I don't think it helps her, when she has seen my dd get it quite quickly....but each kid is an individual! I shall pass on the info, anyone else?

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TooTicky · 14/09/2006 11:41

Poos just take longer to suss than wees.

WigWamBam · 14/09/2006 12:28

It might reassure her if you tell her that in general, girls "get it" quicker than boys (although no-one told my dd that!). She may also be concerned because most of the potty training books seem to say that poos come before wees, but I've never met a child for whom that was true.

He'll get there when he's ready.

2plus2plus1 · 16/09/2006 23:11

I bribed mine - brought some of those 'Kandoo' wipes and told them they couldn't use them unless they did a poo in the toilet (or potty). Worked within 48hrs.

2plus2plus1 · 16/09/2006 23:14

WWB - I think 'poos comimng before wees' is probably a reference to the fact that they are aware that they need to poo before they are aware they need to wee IYSWIM. Certainly didn't follow through into the potty though. They used to wait until we put a nappy on to take them to nursery .

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