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Parenting

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Original poster

Mums of Sons: Do you find yourself turning them into your "ideal bloke"?

54 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 13/09/2006 20:52

And does it weird you out a little bit?

I seem to be trying to mold my boys into what I think blokes should be like. Fit and active, but not sport supporters. Funny and pleasant. Dressed like surfers. Etc etc ...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dinosaur · 14/09/2006 15:39

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dinosaur · 14/09/2006 16:52

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dinosaur · 14/09/2006 16:52

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Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 16:53

I don't think much of the stuff I do with my boys is gender-stereotyped, actually. At least, they both own (and wear) clothes that are not gender-appropriate, and they play with dolls etc etc.

Hmmm, I guess I am reasonably happy with DS1 being a bit of a tart, though, which is probably not a quality of my ideal man.

And neither of mine look like DH. Which is probably a good thing - he has quite a big nose, which looks great on an adult, but not so good on a kid, I don't think.

OP posts:

MissChief · 14/09/2006 16:53

no, that's a thought except that it's tea-time so i suppose we're all busy feeding our little men!

MissChief · 14/09/2006 16:54

that was to dinosaur.

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 16:56

Do fathers try to turn their daughters into their "ideal women"?

And why does that seem slightly creepy to me, while mums turning sons into "ideal blokes" is ok?

OP posts:

saadia · 14/09/2006 17:13

I want them both to be Alpha Males and so far it seems to be working out - although this may be premature as they are only 4 and 2.

Also want them to be able to look after themselves clothes and food-wise but I have seen a lot of downtrodden and irresponsible men and don't want them to end up like that.

saadia · 14/09/2006 17:16

Also would like them to be more communicative than the average male and interested in knowledge for its own sake.

fullmoonfiend · 14/09/2006 17:18

I always said when ds1 was born that if I could teach him how to cook, how to iron, how to keep himself clean and how to use a condom, my work would be done

I now have 2 boys and I am dreading the day some hard-faced little slapper comes and tries to ensnare them

jamieboo · 14/09/2006 17:24

ive have been reading all this about our little boys needing to treat the girls properly.. but what about the girls treating the guys properly?
nephew is now 18 and the most sweetest guy you can imagine, just how i want my 2 ds's to be.. however he will be the greatest husband but he has been burned so many times by girls already, ones that seemed to be so lovely. the last one had him wrapped around her little finger, she was evil.
so my boys, although the eldest only being 4 are going to be taught how to spot a b*tch!

FioFio · 14/09/2006 17:26

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notasheep · 14/09/2006 17:28

dream of ds being a ballet dancer

sugarfree · 14/09/2006 17:29

Can we start MILsnet in a few years?

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 17:43

My DS1 is nearly 5, and on his third or fourth fiancee (depending on whether holiday one counts!). I liked the first fiancee best, though. Can I tell his future wife that, whenever he gets one?

OP posts:

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 17:43

I fear that on MILsnet, the answer to "am I being unreasonable?" will always be "yes!"

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fullmoonfiend · 14/09/2006 17:45

LOL!
I'm trying to teach them that I will only let them settle down with someone if their parents own a bewery

sugarfree · 14/09/2006 17:46

NCQ,on milsnet the answer will always be "no,your dil is a witch and a harlot and her children should be made to live with their paternal grandmother immedietly"

Papillon · 14/09/2006 17:47

My father tried to marry me off to some rich hoteliers son once!

Will definately be teaching ds manners and about opening doors for woman. I like that in a man

calebsmummy · 14/09/2006 20:26

Ds1 (12) is already very nearly the 'ideal bloke' He's intelligent (I know he will get a fab job), great sense of humour (very like his father's...disturbingly, but DH makes me laugh loads so...) incredibly sociable, with adults and children alike, in fact can get on well with any age, kind, considerate, compassionate...I could go on and on and on. The only thing which lets him down, is that he doesn't seem to know where the laundry bin is , but then DH doesn't either so I guess it's been inherited.

DS1 Is very much like his dad in many many ways and DH is my perect man {grin]

Ds's 2 and 3 are only 3 and 1, so there is time yet, though I am thinking DS2 is gonna be a stubborn young man. Of course he will be the 'ideal bloke' he's my boy and DS3 is a little charmer already.

Flame your DS is a little charmer too. I love him already

calebsmummy · 14/09/2006 20:28

Ha, ha fullmoonfiend, DH says that ALL the time!!

ghosty · 14/09/2006 20:48

I don't think I have ever thought about it really ... in terms of making DS the ideal bloke (is there such a thing?)
But he has a great role model in his dad (who cleans, washes, irons, cooks etc without being asked or told to ... in fact, I believe MIL's uncaring, unloving, unmaternalness actually shaped DH into a really good bloke on a practical level, although he is totally out of touch with any emotions )
I just try to make DS into a genuine, good person - kind to others with enough self esteem to make him know he can do anything he wants with his life. Capable of looking after himself without being distant and not needing people. Loving and Loved.
Obviously I already hate his wife (she won't be good enough for him, I know it ) but he says he isn't getting married anyway and will stay with me for ever, which suits me fine

crazydazy · 14/09/2006 20:52

Have always found the saying to be true "if you want to know how a man is going to treat you - then see how he treats his mother"....so on that note I just want my DS to love and respect women and men too.

He's fiercely protective of me though and feels he has too look after me even though he's only 4.

Original poster

NotQuiteCockney · 14/09/2006 21:32

Oh god, crazydazy, I hope that's not true, DH isn't very nice to his mum. (But she's kinda annoying.)

My rule has always been: if you're thinking of dating someone, find out the worst thing they've done to anyone that they don't sincerely regret now (provocation counts). They will do something that bad to you, guaranteed.

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calebsmummy · 14/09/2006 22:09

crazydazy, that could be true. Dh has always been lovely to his mum and treated her with the utmost respect. Sometimes though I find him wanting to have things the same as his mum does, ie, how we organise the kitchen cupboards and the like, which worries me (and of course fight tooth and nail ) I can't be doing with that smug look he gets when I actually agree that something his mum does or has is a good idea

And DS2 told my neighbour on the way to nursery that 'mummy is his girlfriend' He isn't ever never leaving mummy (or Super Mummy Frog as I am now named ) And DS3 obvoiusly just adores his mummy!!

And of course I will vet all girlfriends (or boyfriends if that should be the case)

I love having sons

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