Was this a SIDS scare? I'm so scared, what should I do?

[DarlingClem]

A little history before I go into what happened:

In December 2012 our baby girl died in-utero, it was shattering. In February we welcomed our rainbow, a gorgeous, healthy baby boy. Because of the loss of our daughter I have a lot of anxiety about loosing our son so we have a couple breathing/movement monitors for when he's sleeping, a Snuza that clips to his nappy and then a monitor under his mattress. I had stopped using the Snuza a couple months ago when it started to warm up because he was getting a little heat rash from it but since it's been hot and we need to have a fan on in his room the fan sometimes interferes with the cot monitor so I have the Snuza on as a precaution.

Last night he woke at 9.30 for a feed, I fed him and laid him back down to sleep in his cot. I went back in about 15 minutes later to sleep (I sleep on a bed in his room). About 5 minutes later his Snuza went off. I was scared but thought it was just a false alarm so gave him a little shake and said his name. Nothing. Picked him up and kind of shook him and still nothing. Then I ran with him screaming for my husband into the hallway and put him on the floor to do CPR. It was dark until then and then my husband turned on the hall light. He started blinking his eyes to the light and crying like I scared him. My husband thinks the Snuza fell off and he was just in a deep sleep, his cot monitor started alarming by the time we were in the hallway, so a few seconds after he got lifted out of the cot. But I don't know whether to trust that because it sometimes doesn't go off with the fan on (from testing it). The snuza was off when I unzipped his sleeping bag but I don't know if I did that in my panic or if it was already off. I could have shifted it slightly off during his breastfeed, I didn't check to make sure it was still in place before lying him down and then he moved a bit before falling back asleep.

I'm so scared. I don't know what happened, if it was a false alarm or if he really stopped breathing. I feel like I've barely survived loosing our daughter, I don't know if I could survive loosing him.

He seems fine. He chatted himself back to sleep when everything calmed down. Chatted back to sleep again after his 4am feed. He's having a nap now but was playing this morning as usual.

Should I take him to the GP or the hospital to be checked? I don't know what I'm meant to do...

I honestly, honestly, honestly think he was just in a deep sleep and his alarm unclipped. But I do think there isn't a gp in the land who would begrudge you a once over.

You sound so very anxious and understandably so. My sil lost her first to SIDS and her subsequent babies all had monitors provided by the hospital. The team checked out any and every concern.

For your own peace of mind, take him to be checked.

My girls used to do this occasionally. Very deep sleep that didn't respond to loud noises or even being picked up and (gently) shaken.
We didn't have alarms. Sometimes think they cause more anxiety than they solve.
Definitely see the GP if you're still worried.

I am sorry you had such a fright, it's horrible to have such anxieties isn't it? Why not get an emergency appointment with the GP to discuss what happened, the chances are it was just a deep sleep but it is understandable that you would worry. As the previous poster said you may be able to get a monitor that will help to put your mind at rest.

Enjoy your beautiful boy today and keep us updated. There will be plenty of people here who can provide some support .

What a terrible scare :(

I have heard accounts of lots of people having false alarms with breathing monitors even snuzza monitors which do seem to be more reliable than the under the mattress type monitors.

Was he his usual colour when you turned the light on?

We have an angelcare monitor for ds2, he would set it off a lot when he was younger and when iwent to him he needed rousing and would then take a big gasp in which was scary. We saw a specialist and they put it down to him having reflux which I didn't quite understand.
He's 2 now and still sets it off just before he comes down with a cold.

If I were you I would get him checked by the gp, they can listen to his breathing etc and put your mind at rest.

I'm so sorry you had such a terrible fright, but I honestly don't think there's any such thing as a SIDS "scare". The point about SIDS is that it is completely out of the blue with no prior warning signs. So whatever happened to your DS does not indicate that he is more likely to be a victim of SIDS in the future.

However, I agree with other posters, do take him to the GP if it will set your mind at rest.

We use a respisense (like a snuza) and a baby sense under mattress monitor for similarly well founded anxieties.

I have had similar experiences with various of my children and the way I look at it was either they were fine and it was a deep sleep and a false alarm and we all feel a bit silly or the monitors did their job, thats why we have them, alls well that ends well.

It's natural to worry but he is ok and thats the main thing.

That's a sensible way of looking at it biscuits.

Thanks ladies. We've booked a GP appt for this afternoon for my peace of mind.

I'm not really sure what his color was, it's all such a blur and it was dark until right before he started crying. He was very warm.

As far as the monitor. I understand the mindset that they can cause more anxiety but in our case they've definitely eased mine. If I didn't have them I'd have had even less sleep these past five months outside of the constant feeds! They have definitely eased my worry so that I'm more comfortable falling asleep. This is the first time one has gone off and caused a scare and if it was a false alarm it was obviously my fault as it would have been because I'd nudged it breastfeeding and didn't check it was secure when I laid him back down. If it wasn't a false alarm, then I guess like biscuit said above, the alarm did it's job in alerting me so I could react and rouse him.

As far as a SIDS 'scare.' I guess I was referring to one of the theories that SIDS babies go into even deeper sleeps than normal and 'forget' to breath, whereas another baby would rouse itself to breath or change positions. So the alarm goes off so that the carer hopefully has time to react.

He does seem ok but I would just hate to be complacent and not look into it.

Sorry if I'm seem like such a fruit bat. I am I guess! But I'm working on it.

Just a quick update. I contacted the Lullaby Trust to ask their advice and they said to definitely have him examined and not let the GP brush me off, that it needs to be taken seriously in case it wasn't a false alarm. I may call them for more advice.

DS on the other hand seems more stressed about reaching his feet--it's been a long time coming but he's finally grabbed them! I fairly certain he's very excited about this accomplishment!

OP have you spoke to someone your anxieties they are completely reasonable but I think you maybe drive yourself mad with worry you are completely right to have the alarms if it gives you peace of mind and to get him checked incase but you shouldn't need to live in a constant state of worry and anxiety.

I haven't been through what you've been through but just wanted to leave a reply.

my dad lost his second DD to SIDS (this was way before I was born, in his first marriage) and at the back of my mind has been the worry that I'd lose a child too and it's was such a worry for me in those early months.

I just wanted to say that you're not a fruit bat ;) I checked DS's breathing about 1000 times a night, and picked him up to wake him a few times when I thought he'd stopped breathing, and I counted the days until he was 6 months old and the risk of SIDS diminishes, and I carried on holding my breath until he was 1 and the risk is neglibible.

Even now that he's a strong 2 yo I check him whenever I get up in the night, and I still place my hand on his chest as he is sometimes in such a deep sleep I swear he's not breathing.

I asked a friend who has a 5yo and a 3yo if you ever stop checking that they're breathing, and she said no ;)

Hi Lola-
Yes, I feel like every care provider I come in contact with knows about my anxiety! I have a history of depression so that on top of loosing our daughter makes me high-risk for PND so my obstetrician had me see a post-natal psychiatrist when we first relocated here from overseas and the GP and health nurse all know my history. The psychiatrist would like me on meds but I'd like to avoid them while breastfeeding for now. I also wanted to wait and see how my anxiety was once we moved as the place we were in until last month was causing me a lot of anxiety. It's definitely eased since moving but I know it probably won't be under control until I start taking something or find a therapist I click with. We just moved to SW London so I need to find a therapist nearby.

Thanks again ladies, I'll update you after our appointment.

Took DS to the GP and of course he's fine. I feel silly that I didn't check to see if he was breathing before I panicked and picked him up. But my instinct was telling me to wake him immediately and make him breath. I don't really feel any better....I think if he had woken the first or second time I tried it'd be easier for me to think it was a false alarm. But he didn't. The rational part of me thinks the Snuza came off but the fear I felt is just really hard to get past. It was only seconds, but I genuinely thought he was dead. This sucks. I just want to be naive and be able to believe everything will be ok.

Oh love, my sister had a similar experience to you and my mum had a SIDS baby. Your anxiety is based on your experiences and in no way should be seen as 'silly' by you or anyone else. I remember my sister dashing to the GP after a similar monitor fail, so I actually think you are behaving normally for someone with your experiences. This will never completely leave you although I'm sure the anxiety will lessen. For her 60th birthday my mum asked for donations to the Lullaby Trust and I've always given them money so pleased to hear of them helping you, but what I'm getting at with that reference to my mum is that 30+ years later when outwardly she had entirely dealt with the loss of her baby it was still very much on her mind - some things are a game changer.

I can understand your anxiety but fwiw - I can (and have always been able to) hover under my sleeping DD without her flinching if she is in a deep sleep!

Oh clem, have some hugs x

Of course you got the fright of your life, you would have regardless of your history, my daughters angel care went off a few weeks ago just because she wriggles up to the top of her cot and it couldn't pick up her moving and it scared the hell out of me and I have none of the history you have. I'm glad you took him to the gp and have been reassured (somewhat)

How scary for you, and I'm so sorry for your past loss, DarlingClem.

Have you done a baby first aid course? This helped me following a very similar scare. I was even shaking my baby (worst idea ever!) and he didn't respond... that feeling was truly awful. With hindsight I think he was just in a really, really deep sleep.

At the first aid course they taught us how to rouse a baby safely (tickle feet and ears, call name loudly) and obviously CPR etc, which helped me feel better. We've not had any problems since.