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Feeling tearful and silly....

3 replies

Kammy · 13/09/2006 14:38

Sorry everyone. I'm quite new to mumsnet, and I feel awful posting about a problem when I'm so new, but today, I feel really upset.

My ds started school last week, and I can't believe how much I miss him! He is tired and cranky whe he gets home, can't tell me if he likes school and his cousin (who has just come to live with us...)tells me he ate all on his own at lunchtime, and no-one was playing with him. He's quite shy, so he wouldn,t rush up and join in games and he knows very few people in Reception.

Coupled with this, we have had some big life changes. My niece age 8 and her mother have come to live with us temporarily after moving from the north. My sister works away, so it made sense for me to have my niece for periods of 3 or 4 days when she is away. Ds is really enjoying having her, and I know it will be a difficult adjustment untill they get their own house, but I am missing the 1 to 1 time I used to have with ds. She wants to be with us all the time - I know this will settle down as she gets more setteled, but I can't even bath ds without her coming and sitting in the bathroom. Things aren't much better when my sister is home, she wants them to play together all the time, and I am desperate to have time on my own with ds. If I tell her this she gets upset and sulks saying it's not fair.
I know how hard it is for her, but today I am just feeling so overwhelmed, and missing ds's company! Sorry. Has anyone got any ideas for how I can explain this to both my sister and my niece without a major falling out? I really want to help them.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hairymclary · 13/09/2006 14:42

Have you spoken to your ds's teacher? She may be able to give you a different perspective on lunch/play time and may also be able to help encourage some friendships if he is having troubles with being shy. You could also arrange some play dates for him so that he gets to know some of the other children better.

as far as your sister/niece goes I don't honestly think you can expect your niece to just spend time by herself so that you canh do things with ds while you have her to stay. She probably feels a bit unsettled and lonely when her mum isn't there.
When your sister is there however I think it's reasonable for you to be able to have some one on one time with him.
How about arranging a day out for him, just the 2 of you?

Kammy · 13/09/2006 14:48

Thanks.
I'm just off to school and I had thought I would just ask how he's doing without making a big deal.
I know in my heart that My niece just needs time to settle, I guess I'm just a bit overwhelmed at what we have taken on. I'm going to try and encourage my sister to give her 1 to 1 time when she's home and I'll take ds out. I've been spoilt having him all to myself!

OP posts:
Olihan · 13/09/2006 14:54

I think you're right that approaching your sister with the idea that she hasn't seen her dd for a few days, why doesn't she have some quality time with her without you and ds around is a good one. If you can put a positive slant on it, rather than, 'I want some time with ds without you two' kind of implication then she may be more accepting.

Is there somewhere local you and ds could go together (library, park?) and leave your sis and niece behind with a cheery 'we'll let you have a bit of peace' then you'd have bit of time with ds and not offend your sister.

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