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Original poster

Do your children have completely different personalities?

16 replies

Eastie77 · 18/07/2014 15:59

I know every child is different but I was talking about this to a friend of who feels her DS is really difficult and is likely to be a handful as he gets older so this has put her off trying for another one as she 'cannot cope with another one like DS'

Her mum told her that it's very unlikely that she'll have two kids with the same kind of personality but she is very worried.

I know I am completely different from my sister & brothers e.g I am much more independent than they are but think that is partly due to a different upbringing. My parents had my siblings close together when they were very young, newly-weds, quite poor and had only recently arrived in the UK. I was born many years later when they were much better off and as they had already raised 3 kids I was pretty much left to my own devices and they were not as strict with me as they were with my sister.

We are considering trying for a second in about a years time. Our DD seems quite similar to the way I'm told I was when I was her age: quite shy, quiet and unfussy, takes a long time to warm up to strangers (but loves other kids and happily plays with a newly introduced child). I'm still quite shy now and I do worry a bit that she will be the same when she gets older - not that shyness is a problem in itself but I know my lack of confidence has held me back.

DP's personality is completely different from mine in so many ways. He has few inhibitions, was the same as child and and he has predicted that the next child will be more like him:)

Anyway..just curious really and was interested in finding out if those of you who have 1+ kids and have parented them in exactly the same way find that they are very different?

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Floralnomad · 18/07/2014 16:02

Mine do ,they are boy and girl and have a six year age gap but they're polar opposites .

pilates · 18/07/2014 16:11

Yes and I am totally different to my sibling too.

smugmumofboys · 18/07/2014 16:13

I have two boys aged 9 and 11 and they could not be more different.

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Flywheel · 18/07/2014 16:28

2 of mine are polar opposites. Thinking of my friends kids, and nieces and nephews, all the kids have very different personalities. Interesting.

Cockadoodledooo · 18/07/2014 17:25

Yup. My boys are totally different, but both wonderful in their own way. Ds2 was much harder work as a baby/toddler than ds1 and if we'd had him first he could well have been an only! He's about to start school this year and is blossoming. I'm really glad we have them both, and they really love each other and have a great bond despite the big age gap.

NellyTheElephant · 18/07/2014 21:22

My girls are chalk and cheese. DS is v similar to DD1 so DD2 is the 'different' one. DD1 and DS are fiery and emotional anger flares and tantrums etc but over in a flash with much love and making up and sorrow over bad behaviour. DD2 - so different, so calm, so gentle, so easy (I used to think) ..... so good (it turns out) at holding onto grudges for days (rather than flaring up and forgetting like the other two), so good at revenge as a dish served cold, so calculating!!! be careful what you wish for! I thought DD1 was such hard work when she was younger (what with all the tantrums) and DD2 was like a calm breath of fresh air from the moment she was born.... fast forward 9 years and DD2 runs rings around me (I adore her, but she out foxes me at every turn - she is definitely the cat of the family) and DD1 is transparent, loving and eager to please like a puppy.

The girls are brilliantly good for each other (what with being so opposite) and they are so close.

Many of my friends who have two children (boy and girl) will make ridiculous comments such as 'boys and girls are so different' no, they're not.... children are so different! And it's brilliant.

SurfBoredCat · 18/07/2014 21:39

I have one girl and two boys and they are all completely different!
DD is creative, theatrical, independent and very sociable; DS1 is very clever in a problem solving way, especially if it involves taking something apart and putting it back together again, he's also very sensitive and precise and a bit of a mummy's boy;
DS2 has a very sunny personality but can be very intense, he is also a little bit shy sometimes, he's also hilarious!

DD is most like me, I think.

They're all awesome! :)

Diamondsareagirls · 19/07/2014 22:14

Yep. I have a boy and a girl and they are completely different. I love that they are and it makes me love them for their differences.

Hassled · 19/07/2014 22:17

I have 4 and they're all completely different. Oldest and youngest probably the most alike - both very laid back, chilled sort of characters - but one has a competitive instinct and the other doesn't. They find different things funny, have had different experiences re friendships, and so on.

idril · 19/07/2014 22:21

Mine are very different too and so this per se should not put her off.

But, if you have one very difficult child I think it's perfectly reasonable to be cautious about having another because of the emotional drain that having a difficult child can be.

If she is happy having one and is willing to put all her energies into meeting his needs then she should be free to do so without anyone persuading her otherwise.

If she would like to have another, having one "difficult child" should not put her off.

BitchPeas · 19/07/2014 22:22

I only have one DS.

But me and my brother are so similar it's spooky. Exactly the same temperament, work ethic, personality, likes and dislikes, flaws and good points. But then my sister is the polar opposit, she could be from a different planet we are so different, people don't believe we grew up in the same house. We all get on though.

There's 11 months between me and my sister and 3 years between me and my brother. So all raised the same.

CountBapula · 19/07/2014 22:27

DS1 (now almost 4) was a screamy non-sleeper as a baby/toddler and nearly finished us off, so we put off trying for DC2 for ages. We finally decided to go for it and DS2 was born in March.

He's calm, contented, placid and sleeps through the night Shock Obviously early days yet but so far they couldn't be more different.

Delphiniumsblue · 19/07/2014 22:29

3- all completely different.

steppemum · 19/07/2014 22:30

we have 3, they are all very different personalities and approaches to life. very different in the ways in which they are naughty/ mischeivous, very different senses of humour.

But I can see really strong family traits in all of them, different bits of me, my brothers, my mum, my dh and so on.

Some of this was evident even before birth. Ds was very very active in the womb. He is a very physical child. Dd1 was very inactive in the womb, to the point of concern. She is very sedentary, very non active, her favourite activities are things like drawing and reading.

MasterFlea · 20/07/2014 08:23

My first two are very different to each other. One is very socialable and eager to please. DD2 is more into tots and scared stiff of everything that moves.

Both were velcro babies though. My 3rd is just a baby but so different than DD1&2. He is so relaxed and sleeps for longer and through anything.

Only 2 years between each and mostly parented the dame way.

It is amazing to see the differences. I would let your friend make her own decisions though. Maybe she knows she is at her limit of coping.

oohdaddypig · 20/07/2014 08:30

Two DDs here. Look dissimilar. Polar opposite personalities.

It's amazed me that two people, same genes and gender, are so different. They are both delightful little creatures :)

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