Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

How do you teach toddlers not to hit?

4 replies

AntoinetteCosway · 16/07/2014 21:10

DD is 3 in September and has always been pretty mild mannered. She has tantrums sometimes as you'd expect for a toddler, can be naughty at times like throwing food on the floor if she doesn't want to eat it etc, but none of this is regular. She's responded well to 1, 2, 3, naughty step since she was about 2.5 and rarely ends up on the step as she usually manages to calm down/stop the behaviour before we get to 3.

Recently though she has started pushing other children when she doesn't immediately get her way. We've talked about it and she knows it's not nice, she knows being pushed hurts (or can hurt), she knows it's not allowed etc. We are trying to be really consistent with the 123step system and she is good about apologising afterwards-sometimes off her own bat and sometimes because she's told to.

But how do I stop her?! Today she pushed the DD of a friend and this little girl isn't even 2 yet. She fell over against a stone step and hurt her leg. I was mortified! Friend was v nice about it but I feel like the talking about it/punishment system we've got going isn't working because she keeps doing it...any ideas?

She goes to nursery once a week and is with me the rest of the time. I am 37 weeks pregnant and as it's started in the last few weeks I'm wondering whether it's because she feels out of control about the new baby and so is lashing out? If that's it, should we just keep doing what we're doing and hope it stops once the baby's here and she hopefully feels more secure? Argh.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Theyaremysunshine · 16/07/2014 21:57

It may well be the baby coming but IMO you need to be even more consistent with boundaries.

We do well with 1,2,3 as well but tend to follow it with a consequence as naughty step didn't work for us. But, for hitting, kicking, biting there's an immediate 3, removal from situation and sit down with DS until he really understands how wrong his behaviour was.

He went through a hitting phase. If we were at a friends or soft play/playground, I would immediately take him home. He got it pretty quickly, though it was a PITA if we'd only been there 5 mins! If it was at home he would have to sit with me quietly in a place of boredom (no toys, tv etc) while we talked about it.

DS is 4. He was 2.10 when dd came along and did play up before she arrived. He was fine then til she was about 4m (and realised she really was staying) and then had a couple of months of dreadful behaviour. All fine now and adores his sister.

You could try getting her a baby doll and buggy to look after and focus on being gentle. cousin tried this and baby doll got microwaved though

Having been rough the transition to 2, I'd say let go of the little things, praise good behaviour even more than usual, but be massively firm on the important stuff.

Good luck OP. IME it's much easier with 2 than being pregnant with a toddler!

AntoinetteCosway · 16/07/2014 22:32

Thank you-this is really useful.

I should have said that when she hits she does get immediately told off and removed from the situation, though I've never taken her away entirely, just usually to the next room to calm down for a minute or two and so I can tell her off. So it's sort of been 1+ I suppose?! Maybe that's where I've been going wrong, trying to combine the 1 with an additional telling off. Maybe I need to go straight to 3 and a proper time out...

OP posts:
AntoinetteCosway · 16/07/2014 22:32

The microwaved doll made me snort btw!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

violator · 17/07/2014 21:52

Interested in this too. DS is almost 3 (maybe it's an age thing) and just recently started pinching and hitting. He's never done it before, there's no new babies. We are potty training and I know he's a little stressed with that.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page