When to give kids more freedom

[Mommy2parker]

So I'm 28 with three children, Parker (girl-4), Murdoch (boy-2), and Tannis (boy-1month). My boyfriend and I have been discussing when we should allow them to do certain things... Like allow Parker to wear makeup, allow them to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, allow them to dye their hair, wear high heels and so much more.
I would like Parker to wear makeup at 13 but my boyfriend disagrees and says she should be 16. We just figured we would get other peoples opinions on what ages to allow them to do certain things. So please help us out and tell us your opinions and why you would pick a certain age. Thanks :)
-Lia and Landon

Do you need to decide right now? When they come to that age, a certain amount will also depend on the norms among your and their friends and community, as well as their own personalities.

We do have plenty of time to decide but Parker is already 4 and time has been flying past so quickly. She's very social and is always asking questions. We just know these questions will soon be brought up by her and we don't want to tell her that we don't know. She already does ask if she can get mascara put on while I do my own makeup and all I can tell her is no.

PMT.

You don't need to think about this for a very long time. Just keep saying no to anything that isn't appropriate for their age.

Not all girls have to wear make up. Maybe by the time your DD is 13 she will be a compete tomboy, or otherwise not interested in make up!

As for girlfriends/boyfriends, I would just make sure that you have age appropriate chats about relationships and sex education type topics. You don't have to make a big decision about a specific age to "allow" them to have a girl/boyfriend.

With the hair dying, it's worth noting that most schools won't allow dyed hair, so that is best kept for summer holidays and temporary so it is back to natural by term time.

As for knowing the answer to questions about "when can I...?" I would just say, "when you are much older, at least x number of years from now", and insert an appropriate number.

I personally think you should try and preserve their childhood for as long as possible. They shouldn't be worrying about what they look like, and altering their appearance to fit societal norms for many years yet.

Crazy to think about this so early on

In ten years time not only will your dc be different but you probably will be too!