Friends children breaking your things?

[AvaLou]

What is the ettiquette here? It has happened a few times, and I can't keep everything out of their reach.
The worst is a friend who has 4 boys under 6 years old, they wreak chaos. We have three young children, so have safety gates etc but also have taught what can and can't be touched and it's hard to pack everythinng away just because friends are visiting.
Last time they were here one boy punched a picture frame, and shattered it, and threw DS's handprint from when he was born on the floor. They have ripped up photos etc in the past too, and her toddler once climbed into DD's cot when she was a newborn.
My friend has always been upset and offered to pay, but it isn't about the money , it's more that they come and can wreck things that mean something to us.
I'd hate to not invite her to see us because of this but I feel constantly on my toes looking for what they are doing when she is here.

can you meet at a soft play centre or similar?
TBH, I have fewer children (3) but I still wouldn't subject other people to them unless it couldn't be avoided, and only one of mine is prone to wrecking things.
If I was her I'd be mortified and keep out of other people's houses.

I wouldn't invite her back, I'd set up a playdate somewhere wrecking-proof. then you can have a good chat whilst not having to worry about the children.

sorry - I wouldn't invite her back. If she was really mortified she'd keep a better eye on them whilst at your house.

I used to live with a friend who had a young child and she often had friends with young children over to play. Anyway I had a beautiful coffe table, big thick solid wood stained a gorgeous colour, I just loved it. So I returned form work one day and was told that the kids had had an accident with the table, it turned out that the accident was with a bottle of nail varnish remover, the whole table was ruined and to top it all off my friend and her friend who's kids had done the damage found it hilariously funny. Needless to say I moved out soon after.

Maybe it's my fault for assuming they would know not to but I am quite peeved that she just sat in the kitchen whilst they did this. I wouldn't have thought since she brought them all here tey would get free run of the house whilst she drinks coffee?

I'm not being mean at all, one friends DD broke a vase of ours but she was really young and it was one of those too fast to catch moments, so it was in no way her fault so that was fine, but this is very different. This just annoys me a bit, and she won't go to soft play as her Dc's get 'too over excited' apparantly.

Fluterbe, I just saw your post. That must have been realy annoying for you. I guess you might see where I am coming from with this?

I had a friend like this - she's still my friend but we just don't live near each other now, it wasn't so much my stuff (although her son did help himself to some of DH birthday cake BEFORE he'd even come home from work!) but my DD's things. He broke so many of her toys! In the end I used to invite her around when I knew her son was at playschool or insist that we meet somewhere neutral when all the children were in tow. It's so annoying but is it worth ruining your friendship!?

Wouldn't let them back into the house tbh. Unless you can contain them in the garden and she will supervise them better, meet somewhere neutral like a park or soft play.

Sounds more than just boisterousness tbh, they haven't been taught basic respect for other people and their space and belongings, and they are more likely to get out of control with that number of small children together in the house. I'd be mortified if ours behaved like that anywhere.

AvaLou, I agree with Lizs, this is more than boisterousness, and your friend is responsible for ensuring her children treat your home with respect. If she can't or won't, I'd arrange to meet up somewhere else in future.

Avalou

I have a very similar problem - have friend round the corner with two kids at the same school as ours, who are the same ages as ours and they all get on really well. Last time they came here we had a few kids round (last day of summer term). These two children deliberately broke two toys - the trouble is I didn't see them do it and can't prove it (DD and DS told me who it was and they both said the same names). Its put us an an awkward position where I don't want them round, but can't even explain why, as I have no proof - although I did see them earlier trying to smah up those same toys.

There are a fews of DS's friends, (ditto - families with several small boys) who in the past I've not invited round for months on end, because they always break things. It's fine if its a genuine accident, but when its deliberate, it makes me really cross

ah - so it's alright if they get overexcited at your house and trash the place but not at soft play? Ba humbug.
She's completely out of order.

speaking as a mum of 3 boys (one is 2, the eldest has special needs/ behaviour problems and one is just a bit bouncy), i wouldnt let her in your house again. my kids are a nightmare if i go to friends houses, i am constantly watching them and taking things off them, so i just dont go. its not exactly rocket science. i either go round without the kids (rare), invite people round here or meet somewhere like the park where they can run riot without wrecking stuff. she is not mortified about what happens, i am mortified by my kids behaviour at other peoples houses (and that is almost never malicious or on purpose) so i do something to stop it happening. you are not being rude by not inviting her, you are being sensible

What do you want her to do though ? You say she's sat drinking coffee whilst this is going on but she can't be stood over them watching them every second whilst she visiting a friend.
Basically you can't have them in your house if that's how they behave because your friend needs some time to relax and you need your house in one piece.