Pitfalls of sending DD to stay with grandparents (abroad) for two weeks?

[SweetPea3]

DD is 21 months old and my in laws want her to go and stay with them for a couple of weeks at the end of August (they live abroad). I am currently pregnant with baby2 due November, so would relish the R&R time, but on the other hand, DD is already reasonably clingy and I don't want to upset her or make her even more clingy by shipping her off.

My husband would fly over with her and get her settled for the first day or two. The in laws would bring her back.

Any thoughts / previous experience you could share would be most appreciated!

Too long imo. My 9 year old can only just cope with 2 nights with his grandparents who live 20 minutes away and who he sees fairly often. In theory he wants to stay 2-3 nights, last time he didn't last the 2 nights then wanted to come home even earlier.

Thanks everyone for your replies and advice! I am now in negotiations with DH to significantly shorten the trip. Thank you!

It took me two years to let my mum have my boy but then after that she loved having him and taking him away. He went to Scotland with her for a week at a time several times when he was 2.5 onwards. When my daughter came along she went away with my mum several times too. From the age of 6 and 4 both my kids have spent two weeks every summer with my parents at their house in France. They barely miss me, they are having too much fun. This year my daughter has totally planned out how her grandad will be spending his time (he's teaching her guitar and animation apparently. Amazes me cos I struggle to get on with the grumpy bastard)

Can you compromise on a week? There's often a real bond with grandparents and I honestly believe it's a good thing to nurture it.

Also, my son who is a total mummy's boy told me that he doesn't miss me when he's in France because they are so busy and there's so much to do! There's me... Heart bleeding. Add they barely think of me!

Its difficult because only you know how she will be but I think if she doesn't know them particularly well, 2 weeks might be quite a long time. I don't get separation anxiety, I've only ever heard of that on Mumsnet, but if she's used to being away from you, she might be fine.

My DC have stayed with my parents for 2 nights here and there from say aged 2 (in this country - about 2 hours away). They spent 2 weeks with them on holiday in the UK when they were 3 and 7.

My parents spend part of the year living abroad and last year, they took them to their house abroad for the first time - they were 4 and 8. We skyped pretty much every day, spoke on the phone a couple of times a day and they were fine. They're going again this year. I found it quite difficult them being away for so long but they had an absolute ball. They loved it.

Yes, I think we have agreed that she should just go for a week now and DH can stay the first three days. I think she will be fine on her own with the PIL for three or four days. Thanks everyone!

My twins are 21 months and I would never in a million years let them be away from me for that long! I would miss them terribly and worry about them the entire time. My parents also live abroad and would love it if I sent them over but no way is it happening until they are around 7/8. I haven't been away from them for more than 5 hours at a time.

Please dont send your baby away at such a young age :(

What is it with the supplications on this thread? .

So we left DS for 7 days at 9 months, 15 months and 23 months. he had a ball with his grandparents, who cherished the time with him. DS is adaptable, and out going. We have a strong bond but it is lovely seeing him have that with GPs.

The last trip he was far more aware of the idea of separation- that we wouldn't be going with him - and what that meant. We prepped him a lot about it. But he still had a ball.....For me, I missed him and I think he did miss us a lot more than I let on to his gps, but not so much it was upsetting for him. He was annoyed with me particularly (more the cold shoulder) when we got home but he was over it in 20 minutes and we were back to normal straight away. Personally, I wouldn't have done it for 2 weeks, as I would have fretted, but I think he would have been the same to be honest... Mind you, I wasn't heavily pregnant ....

Go with what feels right for you. Sounds like a compromise might work?

I think the difference Seat, is that the OP's DC doesn't have much of a relationship with the GPs. It's a totally different thing. Like you, I left DD1 with my parents from about 11 months. They have an incredible bond, and she still talks about the month she spent with them when DD2 was due and all the things Granny let her do that I don't, and all of the little traditions she started with Grandad

But unless it was a real emergency, I wouldn't leave almost 3yo DD2 with them for 2 weeks - because she hasn't got the same close relationship with them (yet) because of distance. why has nobody invented a sodding teleporter yet

For me, at least, as one of those people who is happy to let my DC spend time away at a young age if necessary, it was the lack of time spent with the GPs that concerned me.

Yes, it is slightly different. But op knows what is right for her-but is obviously interested in how others have made the decision.
I'm just slightly bemused as to the 'pleading' going on, personally. She's obviously a sensible and considerate person making an informed decision.
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Wow a lot of projecting going on here! The whole 'please don't do this because I could never bear to do this' is fairly pointless advice isn't it? Surely the OP knows her child best, and it is about what is best for her and her daughter.

Hiph, she came on mumsnet to ask for advise fgs!

Well if she doesn't know the ILs and they don't know her then no I wouldn't. Do they know how to comfort her etc etc? Have they looked after a child this age recently?

That would be my reasons for declining if I were you.

No way would I do this. Maybe I'm being pfb but I just couldn't. Too far away from my baby/toddler.