Feel like a failure as a parent

[CocktailQueen]

DC are 7 and 10. I work from home. Am really busy at the moment. Am prioritising work over the dc - have to just now, l am working late evenings and early mornings.

Seems like all I do is tidy up after them/do homework with them/nag them to stop fighting/set the table/cook for them - all the dull day to day stuff, not the fun stuff.

They want to spend time, not with me, but playing outside, on TV, reading, laptop - and so most days we spend no quality time together. I work/prep tea etc. when they come in from school. Will they ever want to spend time with me again?

How does everyone else do it? What do you do with your dc after school, and are you with them all the time or do they do their own thing too? I feel crap at the moment, as if I am being pulled in both directions and we are all losing out.

All parents suffer guilt and the thought that they might be a failure. I am afraid it is being part of being a parent. I am a parent of five grown up DC. I have apologised to them profusely for everything I have ever done. They laugh. I didn't do anything major and probably neither have you. They will live without you entertaining them until you get your work done. You are massively important to them, don't underestimate that, so don't feel sad. I am afraid unless you accept that being a parent is strewn with guilt, then you will always be guilty. I think you sound like a good parent because you reflect on what you are doing. It also helps to be a good parent if you yourself had good respectful parents, who loved you and listened to you. Mmmm I didn't, but the best I could do was to try not to be like mine. I have given it my best shot and mainly that is the best anyone can do and it sounds as though that is what you are doing.

Mine are similar age. They play/fight together most of the time. I do the dull stuff with them (teeth brushing, homework, housework) and eat with them and maybe do 15 minutes' bedtime story with them. Isn't that enough? Plenty of quality in doing the dishes together. Seriously though. What is quality time? It's when you are not bugging them to tell you things and they do anyway. And that happens when you are doing the dishes or equivalent.