Am i wrong to want to protect my son??

[meandmybabyboy]

My ex partner left me when i was 6 months pregnant. He previously cheated and basically used me throughout a fair amount of time in our relationship. When he left me , there was no real reason for this, he didn't bother contacting me at all. Two weeks before my son was due he popped up and started becoming demanding and threatening. I let him know once i was home from the hospital with my son and he came to see him a few times.

Out of the blue i received a letter from his solicitor wanting access. At no point had he sat down and talked to me about it. To cut an ever so long story short we have been to mediation and on the PAP course the Court suggested. He still cannot talk to me and we are at the final hearing this week.

He hasn't tried to discuss long term plans for our son. In the letter i have received from his solicitor he has dictated when he wants to have him. I work full time to provide a home and income to look after my son and he has requested overnight stays from Friday to Sunday, these being the only full days i spend with my son who is 8 months old.

Really struggling to find the words and that to do since everything he has done has been underhand from the beginning. He was even told off by the judge on his last two appearances at the court.

He shows signs of been unstable and acts very childish, for example my son has nearly had an accident twice in his care by him not paying attention.

Has anyone got any advice or been in the same situation?

Thank you x

Read your post and don't have any advice, but there is a lone parent section, I'm sure there'll be helpful people there

I think you need to counter back with the fact that your DS is very young and barely knows his father. You need to look like you want to facilitate a relationship between them though as otherwise Court will hold it against yu. I would suggest starting with 1 hour a week in a contact centre so ex can prove himself to be capable of caring for a baby, and increasing over time. I would also suggest that you feel a baby that young should not have overnight away from you and it needs to gradually buildup to that over time. But ot wouldbe better if it was eow for weekends and maybe one weeknight. However that should be way in the future.

Hi OP, Have you sought any legal advice? Overnight stays from Friday to Sunday for an 8 month old who has not had much contact with the Father seems rather full on.

Have you asked for contact to start more gradually for a few hours at a time then perhaps a review court hearing being listed for a few months down the line to assess how it is going and whether more contact should occur? Just ideas and I'm not sure what position you have put to the Court but maybe it might help to see a Solicitor if you haven't already? Some solicitors do free initial appointments.

Good luck x

Op I would just make sure your solicitor knows about those accidents, it will prob prevent any overnight visits for the time being.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this.

Currently he sees my son for two hours three times a week. With the letter I have received from his solicitor I would not get to see my son if I have him to his demands.

I have represented myself at court each time and luckily been able to get everything presented to the judge correctly.

I cannot afford a solicitor, legal aid also doesn't exsist anymore too.

I just want what is best for my son and for his interests and that's the same for any mother isn't it.