Why do I have no confidence anymore?

[aimees75]

I have a 16mo DS who is just amazing. He is an IVF baby and I lost his two siblings in the womb. I had PND last year and took prozac which was great but had to stop as we decided to try ivf again, which recently failed. I feel depressed sometimes and fine at other times, but mainly I just have no confidence anymore and I feel so boring. I can't remember what I used to talk about with people before i had a baby, but I feel everyone is bored when I talk, I feel awkward like a teenager, and when I go out with friends I feel dull and unable to let go, even if we're drinking I dont tend to laugh and enjoy myself like I used to. I'm always exhausted. Ive become convinced me and my OH are the least favourite of all our friends and that people find us awkward and not easy company. As soon as I find out that any friends have plans together that don't involve me, I get terribly upset and can feel almost devastated for days. Did anyone else find that they lost their confidence after having a baby? I have a Dr appt this Friday and may ask to go back on prozac again, even though we are doing ivf again soon.

Hi Aimee, sorry for your losses

I have a 9 month old and anther on the way and have been left out of things. One friend, who I went out with every weekend visited me once since DS was born. Then text she wasnt doing Christmas presents and had neve asked me since about him or text at all. That causes me to get down sometimes. I don't understand it. However, other friendships have strengthened so I need to be positive.

Definitely see your gp. I went back to work once DS was six months so didn't have a minute to worry or get upset. Do you keep yourself busy (go for long walks, coffee shop visits, swim with baby?)

I am on holidays now and had a very quiet week and the anxiety is creeping back so activity is wht I need next week.

I had a similar loss of confidence, but it was several years before having our LO and without any of the difficult events you experienced. I just lost my mojo, and needed (and still need) antidepressants to get it back.

When we started TTC, I tried going off medication, but I was a basket case and couldn't manage day-to-day life, so ended up staying on antidepressants through pregnancy and breastfeeding, though I switched to a different SSRI than the one I normally use, as there was more positive data for its use.

So, I just want to give you my sympathy and support. I encourage you to talk to your doctor about which antidepressant would be best for your situation. Or, you might be able to try counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy, or another medication-free way to manage (though I'm not so familiar with those personally).

Good luck!